Day 222: Strength

What, in your opinion, is strength?

Wow, books are written about strength.  Ultimately, strength is powering through and doing the right thing no matter how much it hurts.  I have wanted to run away from a lot of things, to quit at a lot of things.  Life is hard.  Relationships are harder.  Health issues are excruciating.  Strength is not stopping when it gets difficult.

I had to leave my husband to attend BASIC and AIT for the military, so I could go to college.  Even making that sacrifice, I had to work three jobs to get through college in Billings when my husband and baby boy lived in Wolf Point.  That took strength.  Living through my husband with PTSD and my daughter with complicated depression took strength.  Many times I would have loved to runaway, but I didn’t.  It took strength to stay.

With that said, my husband and daughter have been strong by working through therapy to coop with their mental illness.  Jerry fights daily going to work.  The job has grown old for him and there really isn’t a challenge for him any more.  But he stays because we need the insurance.  This is strength.  My daughter works hard every day to face her social anxiety, panic attacks, and loneliness.  In fact, today has been especially tough for her.  This morning she cried before school.  She so didn’t want to go.  She texted at about noon.  She had been crying most of the day while at school and thought she needed to come home after fifth period.  I know she was working at her emotions because my last text stated she would remain at school.  Way to go, Madelle!!!  This is strength.  They are both so very strong, and I am so very proud of them.