Thursday, May 25, 2017
I have never been one to promote violence. I believe if you have reasonable people you are working with, discussion will fix a situation. However, the world contains unreasonable people who don't know when to stop. They don't know how to be respectful. Sometimes a good fight needs to take place.
This morning I woke up to the news. Greg Gianforte body slammed a reporter and punched him a couple of times. I groaned. What was I going to do when I enter the Fair Grounds exhibit building and was handed a ballet. Yes, I am republican. Yes, I believe in my rights to bare arms. Yes, I am retired military. And yes, I don't believe in sanctuary cities.
I read one report that was slanted to the left. I read another report that was slanted to the right. Neither told me what the question was that the reporter asked Greg. I scrolled through Facebook. My conservative friends continue to support Greg and my liberal friends are appalled. No change there. I really thought knowing the question the reporter asked would be my deciding factor of making up my mind about how to vote, either for Greg or for Donald Duck. Writing that, I realize Donald Duck would have body slammed the reporter as well, but I digress.
The reporter asked a valid question about health care and the budget. I found this out through Fox News. I had also read an MSN report and another one that I don't recall from what source. However, I couldn't ignore the fact that the reporter went into the office without asking or waiting to be invited. Greg asked him to leave and asked him to see one of his staff members. The reporter ignored Greg's request to leave the situation.
In April, my daughter had a similar episode happen at school. The social studies class was divided into groups of four to debate in teams of two about the dropping of the bombs in Japan during WWII. Madelle was on the side for dropping. The girl arguing against Madelle had verbally been mean to Madelle in the past. During the debate, this girl went off about how Madelle is the type to want to kill thousands of people. Then she went off about how Madelle was a Trump supporter so no wonder why Madelle was so horrible. One, this had nothing of relevance to the debate. Two, this girl did not attack Madelle's partner, just Madelle. This girl singled out Madelle to bully. Yes, I believe it was a form of verbal bullying. Madelle told her to shut up. The girl responded, "make me." Being fed up, Madelle got out of her seat and tapped the girl on the face. The girl told the teacher after class that Madelle slapped her.
Now, in both instances, Greg and Madelle had run-ins with the same organization / person on previous dates. Obviously, these entities jumped on their last nerve. Should Greg and Madelle lashed out? No, there was a better way to handle the situation. Greg should have called security. Madelle should have walked away from the situation. Greg has been charged. Madelle was given a day of in school suspension. However, I also believe the reporter and the girl were also wrong. If someone asks you to leave or stop talking, well, maybe they should be respectful and back off. These people insist on running at the mouth. I doubt anything will happen to the reporter. In fact, he will get tons of hits on his twitter and all that crap. The girl was talked to. I am sure that will be effective, not. However, they may stop and think first when they start to cross the line of politeness. I can hope.
Both my daughter and Greg made a mistake. Neither should have their school or political careers destroyed for their actions. Besides, I like that there are still people out there who will stand up for themselves. I am also happy to know that there are still people that may still stand up to ISIS and the other wrongs of our world. Not all action is the right action, but it is action. And besides, a good fist fight with a bully can go a long way in righting wrongs. I have been known to get into a couple myself back in my younger days. But that may be a story for another day.
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
As artists, I don't believe in beating ourselves up. I believe in being
gentle with ourselves.
Julia Cameron, Facebook, May 16, 2017
Today when I read my daily affirmations, I hoped for a tidbit of encouragement. Considering I hadn't read them for six days, I thought surely one would be of help. Nope. However, when I checked into Facebook, Julia gave me words to ponder. She is a writer who helps artists to become unblocked. She taught me about morning pages and artist dates. She helped me to become unblocked about eight years ago. She is fantastic.
Her words are definitely what I need to hear. I believe them wholeheartedly. I am just not sure how to apply them. For the past two months, I have been trying to get back to my writing after my trip to England. Unfortunately, in all that time, my life has been ripe with a lot of drama. My daughter's mental illness has skyrocketed. We had a huge financial scare that will be lingering for the next couple of years. To prep for that possibility, we are stepping up our house projects that need to be finished. I have been beating myself up in all of these areas and extremely stressed. Needless to say, I have nothing left over for my writing.
Each morning, I come to the computer. I work my morning pages. I read through the writing blogs I follow if I have the brain power. I contemplate my work. Then I promptly runaway from it by doing housework, gardening, or working with my daughter.
Now, I would think that my house, yard, and projects would be progressing beautifully. Nope! I am still working all the projects. Nothing is finished. As soon as I get close, I am pulled in another directions for a variety of reasons. I am tired. I am frustrated. I am discouraged. Yes, I am depressed and angry.
As I stated in the last two blogs, I work my list. I continue to pray. This morning I was a bit lost, so I worked my daily tasks of housework that I usually ignore until the last minute. I worked on the budget which never is the way I want it. I folded laundry and actually cleaned out the top section of my armoire. My pile of things to take to the Good Samaritan is growing!
Once I upload this little blog post, I will do some reading. This afternoon I hope to plod along in the gardens. I need to find a place for my cucumbers, pumpkins, and gourds. I think I will put them in my steampunk garden because I won't be able to get to the retaining wall until this fall or next year. I also need to mow the backyard and move even more manure. I am so thankful God has given me the drive to garden and have too many projects to accomplish in a lifetime. They really help me keep busy when my life feels in shambles.
Friday, May 5, 2017
DEPRESSION to do LIST
1. Read, read, read: Stephen King is a proponent of this. So I have a ton of books I want to read. Here is my list for 2017.
Patrick, Wizard at Large, Robert Heinlein, Flannery O'Connor, Madame Bovary, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and, a writing book or two!!!
2. Go ahead - polish the silverware: Housework and decluttering are on my list. If my muse is crying, I can let her mourn and throw a fit. I will clean and get the house back in order.
3. Garden: Re-do the wood chips. Dad's Garden. The Steam Punk garden. The Water Heater (paint it for yard art) and side garage garden.
4. I might also work on getting my scrapbooking stuff organized to get to work on 2010 and 2016 and England. I started work on the headboard; I need to get the tools to finish stripping the piece. The pantry.
5. Change the scenery and walk: I am going to lump these together. I want to walk Lake Helena and both mountains more often this year. I still need to see some more ghost towns. Madelle said she wants to go to Garnet.
6. Research, Study: This is my own point. Short Stories, a book or two.
7. Listen to music: and sing loud.
8. Play with Leo.
9. Take a fun outing: Places to go this summer: Daly museum, Clark Museum, MT Historical Society, Garnet, Bannack, and the Battle of the Big Hole.
10. Photography: Lanterns and Lamp Posts!!!
Thursday, May 4, 2017
Stress pounded down on me for a solid two weeks in the month of April. With the stress, frustration and depression followed in the stress's wake. I was left in a state of only wanting to read or watch television. I allowed myself to do just that for a day. As time continued on, I picked an art project to work on and began my morning journal after taking a few days off.
I worked my depression to do list. Yep, I do have a list. However, before I even hit the list, I allow myself to stop all of the items on my regular daily tasks. That's right, I quite working on editing, publishing, and writing. I give myself a break. I took mental health days. Once those passed, I slowly added fun things into my life. What is on my list? Music, reading (granted I never stop reading, but I add more types of things to read), paint, scrapbook, garden, get out and about, clean house (it is cathartic), and photography.
During this round of the doldrums, I worked on a sign for my steampunk garden. I believe it turned out really cute. I am excited to put it in the garden though the garden isn't even ready for plants, let alone a sign!
Gardening has been my other project. Though during this bout of depression, I have related to Job from the Old Testament. The only problem is I don't have the patience of Job in the area of gardening. When I went shopping the other day at Costco, I spontaneously bought some flowers: 8 hostas, 3 bleeding hearts, 5 astibles, and 12 lily of the valley. All of these plants only live in the shade. Well, my one and only shade garden is small and can't hold this many plants. Brilliant! Not!!! My steampunk garden will hold all of them, but I still need to get the retaining wall built and decent soil added. Good grief. So, what did I do? I stuffed all but 5 hostas and 2 astibles in the old garden. These I put in the new garden. If any of the plants survive, I will have to reorganize next spring. I do cause a lot of work for myself!
My depression isn't completely gone. Because of the things that happened in April, life is still difficult. At least three of my seven days of the week, I feel like a failure, but I am back to procrastinating with cleaning the house. A sure sign of feeling better. I worked the steps and feel fairly good again. I gave myself the rest of April to play before diving back into the editing of my novel. I have a ton of yard work to do. I also somehow have to start clearing the garage of all my projects. I am just too busy!
Today I am having a rough day. At the beginning of the week, today was a completely free day to work on writing and gardening. The late afternoon my calendar became busy and this morning I had to add an interruption for midmorning. I want to curl up on the couch and read or watch television. Instead, I will listen to music and push through the negativity as I write one word after the other. In afternoon I will dive into my gardens. This means the two places I have to go this afternoon I will probably have dirt in my hair, but to hell with it. I have to get plants moved before the weather is too warm to move them. I also need to pull weeds before they turn into trees!