Day 316: A Good Review

The day I sent my electronic second book to Dean is the same day he finished up my first book, "Heritage Denied."  Here is what he had to say.

Normally not my kind of reading at all. But I started into your book, it pulled me in, and I read comfortably all the way to the end. No issues. Good book. And the format was great as well, easy to read.

So my comment is simply well done! You kept a reader who would not normally read that kind of story reading all the way. Total win.

Yay!!!  I am a little excited.  Now to write in this world again.  Of course, I am on pins and needles while I wait for him to read my second book.  Granted, I still need to get it in paper form.  Goodness, this year is going to continue to be super busy through April.  So much fun!!!

Day 315: Love Finds Victory

The first deadline came in at two days early!!!  Yesterday in a little over two hours, I successfully formatted the 44,000 word novel "Love Finds Victory."  I also succeeded in throwing together a front cover.  I don't like it.  However, I have no better ideas.  My sister told me what I need.  I know what I need.  I just don't know where to find what I need in the price range I have to work with for the project.  I may have an idea, but I just don't know.  At any rate, this is the cover.

Day 314: Holiness In A Deck of Cards

Here is the deck of cards and card she sent me.  I added the bird I bought in Frankfurt

when her and I went shopping together a year ago.

For the last few months, I have been thinking about holiness.  Yes, I think holiness is a relationship with God that continues to grow when we nourish the connection.  I also believe that holiness is listening to His voice that comes to us in many forms, one of which is when we are compelled to do something for others on a whim.  I have a cousin that does this all the time.

Years ago, she sent me a metal of Saint Daniel of Padua who is a saint of wives' whose husbands are at war.  I wore the metal everyday while Jerry was deployed.  The cool thing is my cousin isn't Catholic.  She listened to the voice and researched.  She also sent me help all the way from across the country while my husband was gone.  I received a freezer, fifteen meals, and this awesome guy that finished up some things on my garage.  The awesome guy was her dad, my uncle.

I received a surprise in the mail.  When her and her family were traveling through a section of Europe, her husband is stationed in Germany, they stopped in Mont St Michel France.  I loved the pictures she posted.  I drooled and put this spot on my bucket list for someday.  My son's name is Michel.  I felt a little sadness because his and my relationship isn't well at the moment.  But, what a cool spot to visit!  I would love to go there and pray for us.  Don't worry I still pray.  Well, while she was there, she thought of me.  She saw a deck of playing cards with saints on them.

Sure, most people wouldn't see this as holiness.  I disagree.  I believe it was a Holy Moment between two cousins.  One of the other thoughts I have about holiness is that we need to watch for holiness, to see God working in our lives in all things.  So, yes, I see God's work in my cousin and a deck of card.

Thank you Holly!!!  You brought me a holy moment, and I will treasure this gift and all your gifts.  You are such a blessing.

Day 313: Writing and More Writing

This morning I opted to get straight to the editing before working on my blog and morning pages.  The day had a potential to get away from me.  I was determined to get the novel finished.  At about 6:15 am, I started with a scene.  I worried.  I had time issues, name issues, and detail issues.  The editing slowed considerably.  Oh, no.

Since I did so well the day before, another ten scenes, I took a deep breath and managed to get three scenes done before taking Madelle into town for a meeting and a hair appointment. Being a disjointed couple of hours, I opted to let the novel rest while I worked on a talk for a retreat that I have to give in a few short weeks.  I was correct.  I was interrupted the whole hour I tried to work while at Starbucks.  I actually wrote a page of my talk, very rough, while at the hair appointment.  Once home, I hit the last two scenes.  Yes, I made it.  I am still on time with my deadline.  The novel is finished!!!  Well, with the writing part.

Of course, I almost forgot my blog post.  I was so happy to take a break that the rest of my work slipped my mind.  I was just watching an episode of Alone when I realized I almost forgot the blog entirely.  That would have been tragic.  But here I am, getting er done!

On my calendar for tomorrow, I have formatting, design the cover, and send this much to Dean electronically.  This is a must.  I also want to be able to load my cover and book onto Amazon.  If I can get that done, I am golden until next week when I check the status of how it all loaded.  Of course, I have never loaded to Amazon without some mistake that kicks it out.  The good news is that I have a week to work out any kinks.  Then I send the hard copy book to Dean.

What will I do Friday for work?  Start my next book, of course.  I will keep you posted.

Day 312: Writing and Football

Four days left and counting.  I buckled down and stayed in the chair.  Actually, I should say I returned to the chair.  After every scene I edited, I moved around.  I went for a short walk with Leo.  I worked on a little laundry.  I played a little in a garden.  Once, I simply did some stretches.  I accomplished ten scenes in total to add to the three I worked on Sunday.  Seventy-eight pages are finished.  I am very happy with the work.

Because I am not good in the evening and I edited for six hours, my eyes felt like they were crossing.  I had to step away from the computer.  I decided to go with the hubby to his fantasy football draft.  They were short one player and a friend said he would play only to fill the spot.  He wasn't interested but was being helpful.  He said someone had to pick for him.  I couldn't say no to doing at least that.  Well, I started to like the team.  By round six, I didn't want to give the team up, but thought I could at least watch the team from a distance.  By the end of the night, Jerry paid my money, and I am now a part of the league.  Oh goodness.  More of that to come in the following weeks.  Lord, I do love football!!!

Day 311: Down to the Wire

I am coming down to the end of my second two month block for my Great Novel Challenge.  My second book is written coming in at 43,037 words.  I am nervous.  The story is one I have thought about for a very long time.  Unfortunately, though I have thought about it, I feel it has fallen a bit short of what I really want it to be.  Yet, as I read through it, I am at least not going to be embarrassed.  I think it is good for my first love story.

The big problem is since I really didn't know what to do with the novel, I have some consistency errors hiding among the words.  I have to fix it, and I have five days to get it done.  In pages, this is 157 pages to edit, take notes on, and fix the issues.  Yes, I am trying to lock myself in the writing room.  Today, the only two things to distract me are Madelle's appointment at three and fantasy football this evening.  There is nothing I can do about the appointment.  Football?  I would love to go hang out with Jerry, but I might have to just stay home and work.  We will see.

I am not sure what I think about these deadlines!!!

Day 310: Poor Richard's

For the past four years, my husband has been competing in barbecue competitions around the state and Wyoming.  The number he attends depends on the busyness of the summer.  This year he traveled to Miles City, Absorkee, Worland, Wyoming, and Bozeman.  Our middle child helped with Miles City.  The daughter helped with Absorkee.  The two of them melded as a well oiled machine.  This weekend the team did amazing.

At the Bozeman competition, the night before the teams have the opportunity to sell whatever they want.  Jerry decided brisket sliders with coleslaw.  Madelle wanted smoked smores bites.  They asked me to tag along to help with the selling if needed.  Madelle was getting over a cold and wasn't sure how she would do with the social aspect of working with customers. 

Madelle was brilliant!!!  She took orders, prepared the sliders, chatted with customers, took the coins, and stayed calm during the long lines.  I was so very proud of the kid.  And her wanting the smoked smores bites was outstanding.  The two pans Jerry made with a little help from me sold out.  I made a third pan.  All sold out all in the first two hours.  Jerry made two briskets and two batches of coleslaw which sold out at the same time.  There was still an hour left.  We had to close up shop.  Rest assured, next year will be three briskets and five to six pans of smores and maybe another item or two.

The event was surreal to me.  I have never wanted to work in the food industry.  Maybe baking, but not fulltime.  I like to bake when I feel inspired, not on demand.  With that said, I do watch all the food shows that Jerry likes.  The one we watched a lot was the Next Food Network Star.  I felt like I was in the middle of that show Friday evening.  We were rushing to get everything ready in the cambros.  Then when the food started to run out, I rushed around getting the third pan made of the smores while Jerry rushed around to get more coleslaw.  Unfortunately, we had no more brisket or chocolate.  And all the things that go wrong during the show?  Yep, we had that happen.  The outside temperature was too warm for the chocolate chips.  They melted when I was chopping them up in the food processor.  The machine gummed up something fierce.  I almost dumped melted butter all over.  In fact, I almost dumped coleslaw all over as well.  Crazy.  I would prefer to never do that again.

With that last statement said, I am already volunteering to take over the smores project for next year.  In fact, I am thinking of using my dad's propane smoker to practice different ideas that we all have for selling.  Yes, I am a glutton for punishment because by the end of the evening, I could barely move I hurt so bad.  That is some major work.  My RA hated it!

The best part, Madelle and Jerry took second place in the rib division on Saturday.  I am so proud of them.  They took eleventh overall.  I believe there were twenty-nine teams all together.  They are doing so great as a team.  This is the first win.  And what is super cool as well is that they competed under the banner of their newly created catering business Poor Richard's Barbecue.  I only see great things in store for them in the next five years that will only get bigger and better after that.  Good job!!!

Day 309: A Clean House

How clean is your house right now?

Not at all!!!  I have become a terrible housewife.  Cleaning is super low on my list of to do's for the day.  I would love to blame that on my autoimmune diseases, but I have been this way for a very long time.  I believe there are more important things in life then a clean house.  My writing comes before cleaning.  Doing things with friends and family comes before cleaning.  Really, everything, including my need to rest, all comes before cleaning.  Now, if people are coming over or if the house gets too bad, I do clean like crazy.  And I do try to do things throughout the week.  However, things come up.

Take yesterday for example.  I planned to spend the entire day finishing the last two to three thousand words of my new novel to finish it and then hit the editing hard.  I also planned to spend some time working on a talk I have to give later next month for a women's church retreat that I plan to attend.  I planned to rest.  I planned to watch a little television in the quiet of my house.  THEN, I planned to do some cleaning.  Didn't happen.  Why?

Jerry and Madelle asked me to come with them to Bozeman for the barbecue competition.  Madelle caught a cold from her brother, and she is nervous that she won't have enough energy to help Jerry.  Also last night, they planned to sell food.  She was nervous her social anxiety would cause her problems leaving her dad without help.  So, instead of staying home, I drove to Bozeman.  Yep, the house is still messy. 

And I don't see it getting much better in the coming week.  I have a deadline to send my new book that still needs the last two scenes to be written and the entire book to be edited by the thirtieth of August.  Friday!  Oh, my.  Yep, cleaning house is not a priority.

Day 308: A Better Way

"Sometimes God sends us people to help us find a better way."

"It is better to heed a wise man's rebuke than to listen to the song of fools."

Ecclesiastes 7:5 NIV

This was my daily one minute with God thought for the day, yesterday, which I forgot to read.  I love this.  I have been so blessed by the people God has sent to me throughout my life.  Yes, I have been rebuked by some of these people.  But the rebuke comes from wisdom and love. 

As I read the first words, I instantly thought of my friend Barb.  God was absolutely brilliant when He sent her to me.  This woman is amazing.  She looks at the world so differently then me; yet, so the same.  I can't even really put my finger on how to explain our diverse way of thinking, but I am going to give it a try with an example. 

When I come to a path in the road, I pray for God to pick the right one.  I believe He has a plan and that He prefers I take one path over the other.  Last year, my husband had the opportunity to apply for a job in Indiana.  He and I loved the thought of moving out of state on a grand adventure.  However, we had no idea what was best for our daughter.  I wanted a sign.  I discussed the situation with my Bible Study group.

Barb immediately stated she didn't think God cared one way or the other which way we went: stay in Montana or go to Indiana.  She thought the important part was that we trust in God to make the best of whichever decision we chose.  Wow, either way, we wouldn't be making a "wrong" decision.  This way of thinking relieved a little of the pressure.  What a wise perspective.

I still prayed for guidance.  I will always pray for guidance because that is the relationship I have with my Father.  However, now I don't look at decisions as so black and white.  Sure, there are bad decisions out there I can make.  Drugs, infidelity, theft, you know, those that the ten commandments talk about are all black and white.  But the normal decisions are possibilities.  God may care which we go with our life or He may not.  He does care that we walk with Him on the journey.

Day 307: A Continuous Mistake

Is there a mistake you keep making repeatedly in your life?  Explain.

I keep expecting certain outcomes during times of trial.  Reflecting on my life, I guess I used to expect these outcomes all the time.  I just gave up on the outcomes during the normal times in life.  Anyway, I watch other people navigate through life's troubles and my navigation looks so much different.  I don't mean to sound ungrateful because I do make it through trials.  I just end up feeling unworthy and confused by the differences.  This is my hang-up and something I have to figure out, so I went to researching because I fall into this trap all the time.  Frankly, I am tired of feeling the negativity.

I am working through a book entitled “Expectation Hangovers.”  The book doesn’t completely fit my particular issue, but I have been able to glean new ways of approaching life.  Better still, the homily two weeks ago finished the work the book started.  I need to give God my expectations.  He needs to be the one to fill my needs.  Once I start looking to him specifically and not generally like I have in the past, I believe I will start doing better in all things.

Day 306: Funeral Words

What would you like said about you at your funeral?

Really, I don’t care what is said at the funeral proper.  The important part of the funeral is when the family gets together before and after to talk about all the good times and stories.  All those who know and love the person (me, in this case) talk about the memories that will keep me in their heart.  In the last three years, I have lost two uncles, a dear cousin, my grandpa, my dad, my father-in-law, and a dear friend.  What is said at the funeral is already forgotten.  Instead, I remember Uncle Ray saving me from the bear fur on the floor, Uncle Albert’s love of popcorn, Marie editing and loving my stories, Grandpa teaching me to make lefse, Dad’s love of nature, Don’s love of all that I baked, and spending time with Joe at football and softball games.  Really, these are just one example from each person who I love dearly.  I am blessed to have some many more stories and memories.  I want to leave people with heartwarming stories and memories that make them smile when they think of me after my death.

Day 305: Priorities

What is a priority for you right now?

My daughter is my top priority though she can be a tough priority.  With a summer of us being together a lot, I am worn out.  She is getting tired of me.  She is tired of being lonely and has become very moody, but I am here for her.  I see how much she is working on her attitude.  With all her hang-ups, this is hard work.  I wonder how long she will be a priority.  I when I can let her out into the world.  We will see.  Most of the time, she is gracious with the time I spend on my second and third priorities: writing and resting (to avoid flare-ups).  She is a great kid.

Day 304: Empty Nesting

Yesterday, Jerry dropped Madelle off in Belgrade on his way back from Wyoming.  We found ourselves in the house all alone.  I don't think this has happened in at least four years.  Looking at each other, we wondered what couples did on a Sunday, alone.  Thinking back to before kids, I realized we were poor and probably didn't do much.  But, what do you do when you have money?

We ran an errand to the pet store for dog food.  Exciting stuff there!  I thought of running to Butte for dinner, but after all his travel, I just thought he wouldn't want to.  When he got into the pickup, he turned to me, "Butte?"  He can still read my mind.  And off we went.

I have never looked down over the pit area with not water.  We drove up the mountain and looked at the monument for all the men who died through 1983 or 85.  I was humbled by all the names that sacrificed so much.  My baby sister works in the mine south of Columbus.  I don't worry much about her because I trust she will be fine, but the monument gave me pause.  I read some notes that a miner wrote to his wife while stuck underground.  He died right before the crew dug him out.  Sad.  We also stopped and looked over the pit lake.  For some reason, the mining intrigues me.  I may write about it sometime.

We finished the little mini trip at the Metals Bank which has been turned into a sports bar.  I had...pasties.  It was an appetizer, three little ones.  I have one left over for lunch.  Yum.  I loved the simply little outing with my hubby.  Sure, we go on our dates, but this was longer.  He is just so fun to hang out with.  I think we will do just fine as empty nesters, though we still have a few more years before I will be missing my girl permanently.

Day 303: A Better Place

Are you making the world a better place?

Not as much as I should be.  Yes, I try.  But like today, I can’t think of one good thing I did today.  Yes, I put a puzzle together with a six year old.  He and I also played a little Mario Kart.  I gave a bunch of stuff to the Good Samaritan.  But really, I did those things for me more then for others.  I did pray, mainly for my sister.  Yesterday, I did better and prayed for all sorts of people.  I don’t know.  I do try to make the world better by being a nice person.  But is that enough?

I wrote this post a couple of days ago.  I have reflected on the thought since then.  I try to smile as I drive and when I pass people walking through the store or on the sidewalk.  I try to be especially positive when checking out of places.  A day or two after I wrote the above paragraph, my coffee girl thanked me.  "You are always so positive and smiling when you come through.  You always have a kind word.  You are so good to me."

No, I am not moving mountains for people.  But I try to be kind.

Day 302: Patience With Myself

What requires your patience today?

Myself!  I love to write.  At least I tell myself that and believe it until I sit down in front of the page.  My resistance rears its evil head, and I don’t want to write anymore.  For some reason, I have not wanted to write all summer.  Well, if I look back at my calendars of the past five years, I have terrible word counts every summer.  This summer I have forced myself to sit down to work.  Everyday, I feel like I am going in front of a firing squad.  Everyday, I would rather do a million other things.  I need to be patient because beating myself up over it will only make my muse run and hide in a better place where I can’t find her.

For the last two days, I wanted to hit my project "Victory" hard.  I wanted the word count and novel finished.  The reluctance to write has slowed the count down.  I am working against a couple of things.  One, the normal summer resistance where kids are in the house, and I would rather be goofing around.  I am also dealing with a couple of losses in my life.  Finally, the project is dark.  The project is important.  Yes, I know a project shouldn't be important.  This will send a muse running.  The problem is that I don't know how to make it not be important.  I am dealing with the issue of mental illness and the topic is very near and dear to my heart.  So, I have to be patient.

I am happy to report that I have conquered 4, 114 words in the last two days.  I believe that I only have an estimated 9,100 words left to write.  Of course, then I have the read through and publishing to finish by August 30.  Ugh!!!

Anyway, enough of this blog post, so I can get back to the fiction!

Day 301: Idioms

Rewrite some of these commonly used idioms to make them more interesting, or maybe start a story:  “Pardon my French,” “My mind is in a fog,” “There is more the one way to skin a cat,” “You are on thin ice.”

Pardon my ability to white wash the fence.  My thoughts are in the middle of a mine field.  There is more then one way to jump off a cliff.  You are about to step on a rattlesnake.

Day 300: Bullying

Were you ever bullied as a child?  Tell a story of a time you were bullied, or a time you observed someone being bullied.

I believe all children are bullied a time or two.  Of course, the bullying can take on many forms that help people justify their actions.  Teasing can be a form of bullying.  Excluding can be bullying.  Anything to make someone feel less then is a form of bullying when done intentionally.  Now, I would love to say that all of it should be dealt with, but the fact of the matter remains, people are mean.  And the sly people will do the bullying by nefarious means to keep from getting caught.  They twist things around to look like someone else's fault even the victim.  The best thing to do is be so strong the bully has no power.  Unfortunately, not all people are that strong.  Unfortunately, my daughter hasn’t been that strong.  She is easily hurt and sensitive.  Which is a whole other can of worms in that some people are overly sensitive and think they are being bullied when they really aren't.  Because of this, the aspect of being bullied is very vague, hard to pinpoint.

One time a boy bullied my friend in sixth grade.  I can't for the life of me remember what he did.  At this point, boys had teased me about being the first to wear a bra.  I was tired of the mean way people were treating each other.  I took action.  I beat him up on the playground.  He never bullied her again.  The kids told my teacher what I did.  "I didn't see it," Mr. Miller replied.  I never got in trouble.

Day 299: Cell Phones

Should kids be allowed to have personal cell phones and tablets in school?

A million years ago, I taught English in Hardin, Montana.  Cell phones were not a part of life back in the late 1990’s.  I know at that time, I would have been dead set against phones in the room.  I didn’t even have a phone to call the office.  When kids started getting phones, I still would have been against them in the classroom.  I didn’t even let my boys have a phone until around sixteen or seventeen.  Yep, I was that kind of mom.

I use my phone a lot to answer questions in my research as I write when I am not in front of my computer.  Having access to the internet is huge for me with my phone.  I think phones are a great tool.  With that said, they are also a great distraction.  Of course, kids have been finding distractions and ways to cheat since the beginning of time.  I believe phones in school is up the administration and/or the teacher.  As a parent, I will support their decision.  I have heard rumor that my daughter’s school is going phone free.  I say great.  However, if they don’t, I am okay with that as well.  I won’t be okay if I hear complaints about my daughter abusing policy.  I don’t think I will have to worry about it, but if I do, the phone will remain with me, and the school won’t have to worry at all.

Day 298: Best Leader

Who has been the best leader of your country, past or present (e.g., president, royalty, prime minister, etc.)?

Oh, lord, this is an interesting question.  Just the other day, I chatted with a friend about how only my negative or political posts get any numbers of looks above twenty.  No one wants to hear ordinary nice things in blog posts or news articles.  They want controversy and drama.  Like I told her, I have been tempted to write more sensational pieces just to get some movement with my blog.  I have thought to stand up for my beliefs, but I fear the backlash.  She stated that as Christians we have a duty to speak up.  I believe if we speak up we need to be informed.  I don’t have enough time to be informed.  In today's mass information drive, there is too much to get through while trying to be a mom, wife, and fiction writer.  With that said, here are some thoughts.

Who has been our best leader?  My favorites have been Lincoln, Reagan, Bush Jr., and Trump.  Have they been the best?  I don’t know.  I believe Lincoln was the best to get us through the Civil War.  I believe Reagan was the best because of his economics or so I hear from my husband.  For me, I loved Bush.  He helped develop an atmosphere that strengthened our military.  When I think of our country, my first thoughts are military and economy.  These are my issues.  Bush did well.  So far, Trump is doing just as well.  He supports our men and women in uniform.  My investments are making money again.  I hear unemployment is down and people are working.  This makes him one of the best in my humble opinion.

Day 297: Uncle Albert

Two weeks ago, Uncle Albert passed away.  I have been melancholy, but distant with my thoughts and feelings.  I have avoided thinking about his passing though of course I have thought of him daily, reluctantly.  I don’t want to think of him as gone.  I don’t want to acknowledge that I can’t drive up Nixon Road to visit him, to hear stories of fishing, hunting, and the Korean War.  I don’t want to acknowledge that all three of the brothers are gone now.  At Mass last night, I cried a little.  I began to finally let go a little.  Now, I need to write.

My uncle was a conundrum to me growing up.  I loved him.  He was bigger then life.  But he was gruff.  Sure, my other uncle and my dad could be the same when I misbehaved, but Uncle Albert held a different aura that confused me.  I am sure I saw him smile and laugh.  I adored him, but I felt something deeper that as a child I couldn't place.  Even now, I can't put a name to the feeling, sadness, pain?  I don't know.  But because of this, I thought he didn't like me for many years.

I was so blessed to spend four summers up at Uncle Albert's house.  Dad and I stayed in the cabin about a stone’s throw away.  I spent most of my time with the cousins and Dad, but I did get to listen to Uncle Albert tell stories of hunting and fishing with my dad and whoever else was visiting for the evening.  I always felt so safe in his home and being wrapped in the cocoon of his voice.

One night though, Dad was missing when I returned with my cousin from a horse ride we took up on the Horse Range.  Dad had to run back home to Eureka and couldn’t wait for my return.  Uncle Albert announced that I would be staying the night in the house.  I wanted to stay in the cabin.  I loved the cabin.  I spent hours cleaning and cooking and reading in my home away from home.  Uncle Albert wouldn’t hear of me sleeping alone so far away from others, so far from the safety.  He wanted me safe.  That was the moment I knew he did care for me.  He grew neared to me that moment.  I remember falling asleep in the living room with a smile on my face.  He did love me.

Time went by and I remember going up to visit with my new husband.  At that point, Aunt Ann was paralyzed from a terrible car accident.  I spent my time visiting with her while Jerry visited with Uncle Albert.  Occasionally, I would hear little snippets of conversation, but I was confused.  Uncle Albert never talked of war.  For over twenty years, I had thought he simply was stationed in Korea.  I never asked about dates.  In fact, he had been in the Korean War.  I was dumbfounded when Jerry and I talked about it on the way home.  I never put together the family stories or his gruff personality.  At that point, I finally understood my uncle.  The puzzle pieces of my feelings as a child fell into place.  He was a veteran of war, and I felt that from the beginning.

After Jerry came home from his tour in the Iraq War, he and Uncle Albert bonded as only two infantry soldiers do after seeing things we can’t imagine.  I was so grateful to Uncle Albert for being there for Jerry.  I loved seeing the two of them sitting together in the back of a room chatting.  My dad told me that when Uncle Albert came home from Korea, his brother had changed.  My husband had changed when he came home from Iraq too.

In Uncle Albert’s later years, he started telling his Korea stories to me.  Never the dark stories, just the stories about the guys he served with, the bitter cold, and the crazy storm in the ship getting to Korea.  I hold those stories in my heart, along with the fishing and hunting stories.  I hold him in my heart.  He taught me so much about veterans in his quiet crotchety way.  And he took such good care of Jerry.  I will forever be grateful.

Funny enough, I chuckle when I think of him and popcorn.  In the quiet of a summer evening, Aunt Ann would make popcorn.  The first big bowl went to Uncle Albert.  He never shared.  He loved popcorn so much.  I would have to smell the aroma for such a long time while I had to wait for the second big bowl of popcorn and that I had to share with everyone else.  Every time I eat popcorn I will think of that huge bowl and Uncle Albert sitting in his chair.  I miss and love you, Uncle Albert.  Keep Dad, your pesky little brother, in line until I can join all of you.

Day 296: Punishment

If you had a child who had done something very wrong, such as stealing, how would you punish them?

Wow, really, the circumstances would play a role in the ending punishment.  With that said, they would have to confess to who they stole from and return the item or pay the value of the item.  They would also be on Mom probation and do Mom community service for the person or business they stole from.  The child would also have to earn my trust back.  This would be tacked onto any legal punishment.  Yes, I believe in double jeopardy.

Day 295: Euthanasia

What are your thoughts about euthanasia?

On the eve of my father's death and so close to my uncle's death, the topic of euthanasia takes my breath away.  My sister, a dear friend, and I sat with my dad the last hour of his life.  He slept and simply stopped breathing.  I felt blessed to be with him through the end.  He didn't fight death and he was in no pain.  I had a good experience.  At this point in my life, I could never participate in euthanasia.  I don’t believe in the practice.

However, I have a family member who does believe in it because he saw a loved one suffer.  I understand why he believes, but I don’t agree.  I do believe in stopping treatment and keeping a person comfortable their last days.  The topic is tough.  And I would never judge a person on the moral grounds of euthanasia, my pay grade is not high enough.  That is God's job.  As for the law, I just hope I am never put in the position.

Day 294: Doing Good

Do you do good things when no one is watching?

Not often enough.  Sitting here, the only thing I can think of is that I occasionally put a cart left in the parking lot in the cart corral or pick up a piece of garbage.  Sure, last night, I collected paper plates from people who had finished their dinner, but I was seen.  Yes, I clean and do things for my family, but that is part of being a stay at home mom and housewife.  I don't think that counts either.  I am going to have to think about this a little more and try to find opportunities to do more good.  Our world needs it.

Day: 293: Cheated

Have you ever been cheated on?

Some of these questions humor me.  Sure, one of my boyfriends in high school dated one of my friends while he dated me.  At the time, I was angry.  I wasn’t surprised.  I thanked God that we split up.  I thank God even more today.

Day 292: Dating Qualifications

What do you look for when deciding whether or not to date someone?

Hum, I would have to say that my husband opposes this questions.  I don’t look for anything because I don’t date.  However, back in the day, when I dated, I looked for intelligence and faith in the guys I was interest in dating.  I have to confess that I wanted them to be cute as well.  If something were to happen to my spouse, I really don’t see me dating again.  I have always told him that he or God would have to let me know a person was the one to potentially put into my future.  With that said, if I changed my mind and for some bizarre reason I did decide to date, I would still want someone with intelligence and a faith life.  They would also have to love my kids and I love his.  I have seen too many problems blending families.  I don’t want that kind of drama.  It would take a very special guy and a knock over the head by the powers above to get me to date again.

Day 291: After Death

What do you believe happens after we die?

I believe I will go to heaven.  How that will take place, I have no idea.  I saw a scene from an old Mel Gibson movie about a detective yesterday afternoon.  He was in the hospital after getting shoot trying to find his daughter’s killer.  She comes to get him, and they walk down the corridor of the hospital and into heaven.  I had such a longing for my dad to come get me when it is my time to die (hopefully no sooner then like forty years from now).  My faith and hope is that I will go to heaven.  I also hope that I will meet Jesus in person and be greeted by him and all my loved ones.

Day 290: Religion

Does religion play an important role in your life?  Why or why not?

For those of you following my blog, you know religion plays a huge part in my life.  In fact, I try to be in God's hands every minute of the day.  I work at praying a couple of times a day, attend Mass, attend a Bible Study, and volunteer at the church.  None of this makes me a good person.  None of this makes me special.  And God, my father, knows this doesn’t make me a good Christian.  So, why, if being a “dutiful Christian” doesn’t make me a good person, is religion playing an important role in my life?

All the things I do center me.  Things I learn and things I hear help me to be a good person.  I am reminded to be a good Samaritan and to help others.  I am reminded to be kind.  The world is tough.  People are tough.  God is loving.  God is kind.  I find him in the Eucharist and the friendships at my activities.  These are some of the reasons religion is a part of my life.  Also, without my religion, the ugliness of the world would penetrate more.  God helps it keep at bay.

Day 289: Love or Hate

What is stronger, love or hate?

I have to say they are equal.  When I first saw the question, I thought love was stronger.  But the question kept bouncing around in my head.  Hate destroys a soul.  Love heals a soul.  Really, they do an equal amount of work, just different outcomes.

I wrote this post days ago when I prepped for a huge weekend with family in Wolf Point and for the week after when I knew my nephew would be in town.  I also knew I would be exhausted after that, so here I sit with the last one I wrote.  I simply wrote those six sentences.  Now I look at them and think how simple.  Can't I write more on the matter?  Hundreds of books are written about love and hate.  I don't need to expound on what has come before me.  At least not today, but maybe another day.  However, I will tell you about my evening last night.

After fifteen long years, I reconnected with a dear friend.  Reconnected isn't the correct word.  I will always be connected with Tara.  Really, we simply caught up on all that has happened in the past years of raising our kids and living our lives.  We have missed so much in each other's journey, but, yet, we haven't.  Sure, our life took us on separate paths in different countries.  We have had ups and downs, wins and loses.  The details are different.  What remains is what we started as.  Strong women.  Sure we have grown, changed.  Yet, under the gray hair, wrinkles, and aching joints, Tara and I are still dear friends.  We still choose love and no matter the trials, our souls will heal.  And even if we don't see each other for the next fifteen years, I know we will always be connected.