Coaching - Part 2

As with all topics, I seem to think about my writing.  So the whole coaching thing made me think of what kind of coaching I have with writing.  Well, for the last ten years, I have followed a number of writers on the internet.  I have gone to a number of writing conventions.  I have taken quite a few classes from Dean, and I have sent him my work and done some of his challenges.  I would like something more.

At this time in my life, finances and time are limited.  I am still raising children.  So, I will continue to work with Dean, go to conferences, and read books.  In about three years, I do plan to work with more writers and go to more workshops.  I don’t know if I will ever be excellent at writing or Christianity, but I will continue to look for guidance.

Coaching - Part 1

During my Wednesday night women’s group, a quote caught my attention in the Matthew Kelly book “Resisting Happiness.”  His father told him to listen to the coach every time he went to his games.  One day, he added this to the conversation, “... nobody achieves excellence at anything without coaching.”

Of course, Matthew talked about how people as Christians need coaches, spiritual coaches.  I am so happy to say that I have a lot of people in my life that help me along the journey of holiness.  My women’s group that meets every week encourages and advises.  I have many other strong Christians in my life, including my priest and deacon at my parish.  However, I could be doing more?

I have heard people talk about going to a Spiritual Director.  I have thought about looking into this, but my life seems so very busy.  I am sure we have some amazing people in town that could work with me.  Any of the priests or deacons probably do this type of work.  I would think we have a couple of nuns in the area too.  But, I go back to the time.

Of course, another area where I could be coached is in reconciliation.  Yep, confession.  Oh, that is always scary, and do I ever resist it.  I make the excuse that I grew up Protestant.  We confessed directly to God and were forgiven.  That was enough.  Well, it was then.  But I have been to confession a number of times.  Never has the experience been bad.  I have always had something to think about.  And all but one issue of mine was handled perfectly.  I need to go more often.

So, going forward, I am thinking about spiritual coaching a little bit more, along with confession.  I would love to say that I am going to be active in the process.  Time will tell.

Vacation Attraction

If you could build your own vacation resort, what is one attraction you would definitely include?

Funny question.  A couple of weeks ago, I saw that in St. Regis the old school is for sale.  I always think of what fun I would have redoing such a building.  I think they would make a great apartment building or maybe even a hotel.  But, why not a vacation resort?  Well, for one, I am not sure how much St. Regis is a destination.  Also, the building is in the middle of town.  In Montana, I would prefer lodging to be at a lake or river.  However, lets play with the idea of a vacation resort in the small little town of St. Regis.  I am sure they could use the tourist dollars.

The obvious is to connect with outfitters to have guided fishing and hunting expeditions.  Hiking and mountain biking, skiing and snowmobiling are also fun outdoorsy things to do in the area.  Yet, this type of attraction can be found all over the state.  I would need something unique.

Doing a little research, I found I could do novelty attractions, but I am sure more land would be needed.  Also, water parks, theme parks, zoos, and such would be out as well.  So, what else could draw people to a small little town?

Maybe an intimate setting with musicians, artists, authors and such.  An apartment could be set up for the “star” to stay in while in residence.  The gym could be turned into a changing studio, stage area.  Hum, I kind of like this idea.  For a week, music could be the theme with people coming through giving evening concerts and classes during the day.  Artists and writers could also use the facility for the same purpose.  Oh, I think this is a splendid idea.  I don’t know if it has merit, but it would be fun to try.

Book Cover

Yesterday, I ended up with a million errands to run and an appointment at the salon.  I also had my husband's words haunting me for the last few days.  "Take the time to tell the story."  The ending I wanted for the book kept playing over and over in my mind like a broken video.  I had rushed my ending on this latest book.  Well, instead of editing and formatting, I editing and wrote a new ending.  I also did my front cover for the book.

Today, I have to edit the last scene and format.  I also have the front matter, throw it all in one file, and then send the book to Dean.  I am so excited.  I did it.  Now, I can take the next week off starting tomorrow for the workshop.  Oh course, I do plan on writing the first 5000 words for the 4th book of the challenge, but the task won't be crucial.  Yep, I am doing well!!! 

I can't believe this year challenge is basically halfway over.  Too cool.  Only 3 more novels to write.  This next one I plan to get done two weeks early so I can enjoy the holidays.  I will start planning the schedule when I get back from my trip.  But, that is for another day.

Persistent Prayer

The general, quick version of the Gospel reading for yesterday was a woman was persistent in her petition to the judge going to him over and over again until he finally granted her wish. Luke 18:1-8

At Mass yesterday morning, Deacon Steve talked about our relationship with Jesus and our prayer life.  We need to consistently pray.  Jesus wants to have conversations with us, prayer.  While Deacon Steve talked, he said that like our relationships with our friends, we have to put in the time to stay connected.

I thought about all my friends.  The ones I am closest with are the ones I spend consistent time with throughout the year.  Yes, I have lots of friends, but I only have about five that I talk to on a regular basis.  We get together for Bible Study, tea at the house, minister together, game night, and painting outings.  Jesus wants this type of relationship.  Persistent.

He doesn’t want us to only talk to Him if we happen to run into Him at the store or attend an event after not talking for months on end.  I have to say, I compared my relationship with Him to my friendships between two friends.  I want my relationship to be like what I have with those I see all the time, not the casual.

Day 365: Challenge Complete

CHALLENGE COMPLETE!!!

The year is over.  I wrote 365 blog posts for every day of the last year.  I am so excited that I accomplished the task.  I am not even sure what to say but FANTASTIC!!!

So, what have I learned?  I was definitely challenged due to all the travel I did in the past year, especially this summer with all the trips to sell books, work barbecue competitions, and family stuff.  Also, during flare-ups and the flu, I struggled to get to the page.  In the end, I succeeded in getting the post done through all of it.  I guess I learned that I can take a little bit of time each day and accomplish some writing.  A very good lesson.

Where will I go from here?  I am going to scale back the blog postings.  I want to do more posts than before the challenge but less than this last year.  I still have the writing prompts to finish.  I didn't make it through the 300 because of so many other things to write about.  On my work spreadsheet, I have a three post schedule per week.  Monday will be something I have learned through Faith or History.  Wednesday will be an art post, either about what I am doing art wise or a photo.  I think this will also be where I do my prompts.  Friday I will do a writing wrap up about my numbers and my current work in progress.  I am not sure I will stick to this schedule.  I will definitely write about other things as my muse dictates.  Also, if you have ideas for me, I would love to hear them.

But, I want to thank all of you who have followed me this year.  I hope you enjoyed the challenge as much as I did.  And I really hope you stick around for the new format.  Blessings to you all!!!

Day 364: Insurance Fun, Not

The week has been a little entertaining on the medical front.  On Monday, the out of state pharmacy I have to use for my Humira called.  My prescription ran out which was odd since they contacted me the week before to set up a delivery date of this Wednesday.  I called the doctor's office and they in turn set up my new script.  My medicine didn't come on Wednesday.  Hum, I only have one shot left.

I called yesterday.  Now they are waiting on the insurance company to okay the expense.  I have no idea when my medicine will come.  I was supposed to take my shot last night.  Since I fly to my conference next Thursday, I am concerned.  I need the meds to keep the inflammation under a manageable control.

Instead of taking the shot, I am saving it for next week.  Already, my fingers are beginning to ache.  My hip hurt a little more than normal last night.  This week could potential be a bit of a wild ride.  I know I am blessed that eventually the insurance will approve the medicine, but geez, what a pain, literally, to have the meds delayed.  I may become a shareholder in Tylenol Arthritis Pain Reliever.  I am going to try to remember to pray more for those who have no medical help.  I can't even imagine.

Day 363: Table Manners

Do you think table manners are important?  Why!

Well, this is obvious.  Of course, I think table manners are important.  No one wants to be around a person eating with their mouth open, talking while they eat, and splattering food all over the table.  I didn't allow that behavior from my children.  Gross.

Of course, I have been party to some mischievous behaviors.  My grandma and grandpa Hedahl had a beautiful kitchen/dining room.  On one wall, floor to ceiling windows ran from the door in the corner to the counter in the corner on the other side.  The windows looked out to the trees, lawn, and vegetable garden.  There was also a nice sized window over the sink.  The room was also huge.  I loved the room.

One holiday, some of us where sitting around the table eating breakfast.  Dad and I were goofing around.  He took his butter knife, with butter on it, and flicked it at me.  Well, not being one to shy away from a challenge, I flicked some back, only I missed.  I got butter all over the wall just when Mom walked into the room.  She was angry until Dad calmed down taking the blame for getting her Mom's kitchen dirty.  If I remember right, Grandma just laughed.

Day 362: Stress and Writing

The last couple of weeks have been stressful, mainly because of emotions.  When this happens, my muse runs for the hills.  Valli is her name.  She hates drama off the page.  My body also hates drama off the page.  With all the chaos of my head and heart added to the fall weather, I have been aching all over with some brain fog added in to boot.  I had to rest a bunch.  Uck.  Last week, I found myself struggling to write even a word.  Thus, I slogged along at the writing.

Saturday, a couple of things changed.  My emotions shifted a bit.  I decided to put things I can’t fix aside.  I started feeling better.  I have had some ups and downs.  Yesterday, I was very angry when I realized none of the situation is my making; plus, I have no power to fix any of it.  The best thing I can do is what is best for me.  I still feel the emotions lingering.  They will probably come back, but for the time being, all systems for me are a go.

I hit the words harder.  I reconfigured my word numbers to get this third book for my challenge finished by the 22nd of this month.  I have a conference that I have paid for last year, along with plane tickets, and a room.  I don’t want to miss the conference, but I also don’t want to fail at the book challenge.  This has been a stress as well.

Today, I looked at my numbers and outline.  I have only four to five scenes to write to finish the book which is about 6000 words.  I do have a bit of a job to do in the editing.  I have sixteen or seventeen scenes to work through.  Oh, and I have a book cover to create.  Small details.  Unless a huge disaster hits, I am going to get this book finished by the 22nd and fly away on the 24th!!!  Yes!!!  And better yet, I will start working on my next book while I am at the conference, a whole week early.  Outstanding.

This morning, I looked at my overall numbers for the year.  I was amazed.  I have written 205,497 fiction words.  Spectacular.  I am easily going to beat my best year of writing in 2017.  If I add my nonfiction words to that, I have written 448,495.  Holy moly, that is almost half a million words.  Fantastic.

Day 361: Stolen Coat

Have you ever had something stolen from you?

Wow, I am sure I probably have.  I can’t think of a thing at the moment.  I do have a story about my son.  Clay drove me crazy when he was growing up.  The kid lost everything.  I was reminded of that when I saw my neighbor jump out of her car, pick something off the road, and move over so I could park by her and we could chat.  Come to find out, she found one of her son’s gloves by my house and the second glove on the corner.  I told her about Clay when I remembered the time he lost his coat, or I should say someone stole his coat.

His class, probably band or choir, had a function at the Civic Center.  I took him to the section where all the other kids and his teacher were located.  The teacher instructed him to put his coat with all the other coats against the wall and out of the way in the large lobby.  He went one way while I went to get a seat.  The performance was fun.

Afterwards I went back up to the coat area to wait with him, like a million other parents.  People cleared out, and I saw Clay frantically looking for his coat.  I am sure he thought he was in trouble again.  All that remained of the pile of coats was a lone sad coat laying on the floor.  I picked it up.  The size was too small for Clay.  I would have been tempted to take it since said owner of rogue coat probably grabbed Clay’s.  I handed Clay my coat to wrap up in as we left the building.  I was irritated.  We had to run to the store for a new coat in the middle of the evening on a work night.  However, I was thankful we had money for another winter coat.  I said a prayer in hopes that the other child had a warm winter.

Day 360: Wasted Sunday

Don't waste Sunday's.

I read about this concept last week in my Matthew Kelly book Resisting Happiness.  I have approximately 1,534 Sundays left in my life.  The number looks huge, but I have already had 2,678 Sundays.  I wonder how many I have wasted.  I do know this past calendar year I wasted one Sunday.  I don't think I will do that again for a long time.

So, what does it mean to waste a Sunday?  For me, wasting a Sunday is skipping Mass over the weekend.  I need to check in with Jesus at His house.  If I don't, I have wasted the Sunday.  Of course, this is different from missing a Mass.  Missing Mass is being out of town and not able to attend.  In ways, I know this is a copout.  There are churches everywhere.  But sometimes, activities that God places in my life are important, and I think He understands.

Earlier in the year, the time I skipped church was also during the time I was traveling a ton.  I think I didn't step in the church for Mass in like a month.  The next Mass I attended I actually cried.  I told Jesus I missed visiting Him on His turf.  I thanked Him for hanging out with me at home and on my travels, but I wouldn't go so long without seeing Him in His home.  So, no more wasting Sundays for this girl.

Day 359: A Phrase

What is one phrase you would really like to hear right now?

“It’ll do.”  Of course, to make it worthwhile would mean that my dad would have to say the phrase.  Whenever I made dinner or baked something, I would ask if he liked it.  The response was always, “It’ll do.”  His eyes twinkled.  He loved to tease.  At first, the comment drove me nuts.  Many times I wondered if he ever liked what I baked or cooked, but he always ate it.  Now, I will say the same words or my husband will and we both smile.  I sure miss my dad.  The phase will never sound the same, but when I think of him saying it, I smile.

Day 358: Hoping for York

City Gate of York

I don’t even know how often I think of England.  I think of how much I loved Glastonbury and the Abbey.  I didn’t get to go up to the Tor or see the burial place of Joseph of Arimathea.  I think of York and all the places I didn’t get to explore.  I think of all the history I want to dive into about York and Leeds, the place of my ancestors.  I am pretty obsessed with England.

I have watched many of the British shows on Netflix: Doctor Who, Happy Valley, Call The Midwife, Broadchurch, and more.  I just finished Downton Abbey.  My last book I read was called Avalon set in the Glastonbury area.  I am obsessed.

I hope to go back to York.  I hope to spend a month in the area while taking some side trips to Lancaster and Glastonbury.  

Glastonbury Abbey

Okay, really the side trip list is a lot longer, but I would be studying the places of King Arthur and the War of the Roses.  

White Rose on Bridge

White Rose

House of York

Also, there is a lot of legend about Jesus, Mary, and Joseph of Arimathea I would love to dive into.  Yes, I have to add Sherwood Forest and Shakespeare.

Hoping is not a strategy.  What is my strategy? I ordered two new books: The War of the Roses (nonfiction) and Mary, Queen of Scotland and the Isles (fiction).  In my free time, I will read an old book, The Plantagenets, and continue with War of the Roses.  I started the Mary book already.  I will continue to self teach myself all about England.  But what about going back?

Well, money is an issue.  Also, I am still raising my youngest.  I have dreamed of going to Italy with my husband and this trip comes before England.  My strategy is to be patient.  Once Madelle is graduated and Jerry and I have taken our trip to Italy, I will start the research and saving money.  My goal is York, England for a month no later then 2025.  This will give me time to hopefully finish a lot of my writing projects that I have in my head, so when I do make it to York, I will have room for more projects.  Kind of exciting!!!

Day 357: #Ilovemyhusbandandfootball

For the first time in a number of years, I joined a fantasy football league.  Really, I was tricked into it by my husband and a buddy of ours.  One of the players, couldn't make it to pick his team, or so they said.  I picked the team and fell in love with it.  They said the guy didn't mind if I took the team.  I don't think the guy exists.  Okay, they said it was Larry.  Larry does exist, but I am not convinced Larry really agreed to play.

I also listened to my husband talk about how defenses aren't all that important.  I waited and pulled a mediocre defense.  I picked more running backs and wide receivers.  What happens week one?  My opponent's defense scores 27 points!!!  I lost by 2.  Oh, defenses aren't important!  Whatever.  My husband's defense gave him 37 points in week 2 and 25 points in week 4.  Are you kidding me?

Last night, we sat down to watch a nice game of football: Patriots verses the Giants.  Jerry and I cheering for opposite teams because we are battling our fantasy teams against each other this week.  His blasted defense scores the first touchdown of the game.  Again, are you kidding me?  Oh, defenses don't matter.  I couldn't keep quiet any longer.  I needed to the world to know.  This man, sitting next to me on the couch, whom everyone thinks is such a good guy, simply isn't.  How could I have married him?

Lisa:  I hate my husband!  #fantasyfootballgonewrong

Jerry:  #NotStayingAtMyMomsHouse

            He laughs.  So, not funny.

Lisa:  #thedoghouseisempty

            I laugh envisioning him sticking his head out of the little red house on the back porch.

kt:  Lisa everyone hates your husband on the league.

Lisa:  Yes!!!

            Finally, someone believes me.

Jerry:  I'm just misunderstood

            I roll my eyes.

Jerry:  #packingbagsfordoghouse

Lisa:  #damnright!!!

Oh, my word.  We laughed so hard during all of this.  I am amazed we didn't fall off the couch or pee our pants.  This guy is so much fun.  I love that we can spend all night talking trash on the couch watching our favorite sport.

A few years ago my father in law's wife said something about football being a terrible time waste.  She thinks that people should do other things to have a good relationship.  I so disagree.  (But then, she thinks it is okay to watch golf.  Seriously?  How boring.  That sport needs to add some tackling before I watch that on television.)  We have a blast watching football and have a ton of great memories. 

In fact, we are going to make some more memories with the pigskin.  After the game, we bought tickets for a game in December for our Christmas present to each other.  We aren't even watching one of our teams.  Houston verses Tennessee, baby!!!  I get to mark off another stadium from my retirement goal of going to a game in every one.  I will have 28 more to go.

#footballticketskeephusbandoutofdoghouse

#priceless

Day 356: Hoping for Health

I feel like all I have been doing is hoping the pain will go away.  In reality, in the last year, I have started new meds, been to physical therapy and had a steroid shot.  None of this has really helped at all.  Yes, I am still walking, but the pain is constant.  What can I do besides hope?  I have done some work.  What is my strategy?

One, I need to start stretching more.  I need to do exercises for my glutes.  Since the hips are bad, my glutes are taking a killing, and they are hurting.  There is an explanation, but I don’t know it well enough to explain.  I just need to make them stronger.  Yes, I should also be losing weight.  Gurr.

In November, I see a new doctor.  I have heard he is good.  I need to strategize with him.  This seeing a doctor only every six months is for the birds when I am constantly in pain.  The problem is he has too many patients.  All the doctors seem to have too many patients.  I just hope he has a plan.  I need a plan.  I need to start feeling better.  If he doesn’t, I need to be off to Bozeman.

With health issues, they are frustrating because the strategizing needs to include more then just me.  The medical community needs to be on board with the plan.  I have been very frustrated since a year ago in August when the hip became bad.  The old doctor didn’t help all that much.  So, here’s to hoping my new doctor will have a good strategy!

Day 355: Hoping for Weight Loss

As I thought of hope being my only strategy in some areas of my life, I saw myself getting on the scale every morning, hoping the number would be lower.  Have I been dieting or exercising?  Nope.  Have I even been watching what I eat or how much I have been eating?  Nope.  Well, a little, but not enough to count.  I have only been hoping.  And I guarantee, the scale hasn’t gone down.

I have a long history with weight and food.  In a short version, I weighed 99 pounds in second grade.  Horrible.  I slimmed up a little in junior high.  In high school, I began running and eating healthy.  I was 130, a good weight.  Two people accused me of being anorexic.  Absolutely ridiculous.  That was a great weight to be at, but I gained five pounds to make one of them happy.  In college, I didn’t gain the freshman 15.  Instead, I gained a year later 25 because I was depressed that I couldn’t afford to go to college.  When the military said I was overweight and couldn’t join, I started dieting.  For 20 years, the military continuously told me that I was overweight, and I dieted 24/7.  Horrible.  When I retired, I said to hell with it.  I stopped dieting.  I gained weight.  Twice in retirement I have tried to loss weight, but I have gained it back each time.

Currently, I am sick of dieting.  I can’t exercise much because just walking to the bathroom from the living room is painful.  I try to stretch and do low impact things.  However, I haven’t done anything about the food issue.  I love food.  I eat when bored, hungry, emotional, and because it sounds good.  Stupid.  Yes, I need to fix my attitude and come up with a strategy.  The problem...I am not at all motivated.

So, what is my strategy?  I have always believed I have an issue deep down with food.  I need to find out what it is.  Since I have a million stressful things in my life at the moment, to diet, I would only fail.  Instead, I am going to explore the psychological aspect of my relationship with food and see where it takes me.  I will continue to get on the scale and hope.  I will be more cognizant of portion control and continue to not have bad food in the house.  Today, I wanted to snack and there is nothing in the house. Yay!!!

Day 354: Hope in Relationships

I have hoped for years that a particular relationship would get better.  I tried different strategies.  They have failed.  I stopped strategizing.  All I did was hope.  Nothing has changed for the better.  Instead, everything has gotten worse.  I am being held hostage.

My whole life, I feel like I have been held hostage, but for the last four years, the bondage has been piercing.  As I have stated before, mental illness has been a part of my life since I was little.  

As for myself, I have only had a couple bouts of depression and postpartum depression.  When a loved one or I realize I have started down the “rabbit” hole, I have gone for help.  Usually counseling took care of the issues.  Twice I went on medicine and counseling.  In the last couple of years, I have read psychology books.  I have done well working with my issues.  I have never just hoped to get better.  I have worked to get better.

Some people in my life haven’t worked to get better.  One in particular has been running from her issue for as long as I realized she had issues about thirty years ago.  I have offered to take her to see a counselor.  I have offered to go into counseling with her for thirty years!!!  I have also talked about psychiatrists for years.  All I have been left with is hope.  I hope she gets better. 

Now, she has taken the meds, but they are no longer working.  She is far from better. Instead she is so deep down the rabbit hole that I haven’t a clue how she is going to get out.  This is thirty plus years in the making.  In the last couple years, she has dabbled in therapy, but then quits until she is "bad" again. She has tried alcohol.  She finally was talked into a psychologist and canceled the appointment.

Every time I call, which I try once a week, I hope the call goes well.  My stomach churns as I dial the number.  I hope she is either having a good day or she won’t answer.  My body tenses.  I dread it.  I avoid it for as long as possible.  When her number pops up, I never know if she while be manic cheerful, weepy, or raging.  The last couple weeks have been especially bad.  The situation is pulling me down.

Hope is not a strategy.  I am here to tell you that I don’t even hope anymore.  Last week, I was depressed and in a funk after talking with her.  Two nights ago, my entire body went into a fibromyalgia flare up.  I woke up feeling like a truck hit me and then backed up over me.  After a few phone calls yesterday, I am left with a headache, fibro hangover, and am completely useless.  My hope has been gobbled up by this person and spit out.

When it comes to bad relationships, strategies go out the window because two people need to work at it, not just one.  So, hope takes place.  I also add prayer.  If the relationship puts me in a fibro flare, I need a new strategy.  But what can I do?  Simply, I need to set boundaries.  Of course, this will make some people angry.  I will be judged.  I haven’t been okay with the thought of being judged, but I need to get over that fear.  I will continue to pray.  As for hope, well, I don’t know.  I do a prayer almost daily.  The end states, “Oh, Jesus, I surrender myself to you.  Take care of everything.”  He needs to take care of this person and the relationship and me.

Day 353: Hope Not Enough

Hope is not a strategy.

Matthew Kelly

Resisting Happiness

At my Bible Study, this past week Kori pointed out this sentence in the book we are studying.  I completely missed it among all the other sentences.  I was a bit surprised. I have this type of attitude.  I was so thankful Kori recently joined our group or I might have never had the opportunity to pray and contemplate this statement.

My first thought was egotistical in regards to the sentence.  I instantly thought of other people and their situations in how all they do is hope.  They don’t do anything concrete to turn the hope into reality.  I have a friend who has been struggling with mental illness for a long time.  She hopes she gets better by taking medicine given by a general practitioner.  Me, being so brilliant, has told her she needs to see a psychiatrist.  She hasn’t and the hope hasn’t done anything for her.

My next thought was how my hope to write my first book was followed by a strategy to get it accomplished.  I hoped to write a blog everyday for a year.  I put it on my calendar and got a book of writing prompts as my strategy.  Of course, we contemplated the sentence in regards to our faith.  I don't hope for a better relationship with God.  I work at a relationship with Him: Bible Study, Mass, ministry, prayer, and charity.  Yep, I am so amazing.  (Yes, I say this with mockery in my voice.)

My final thought humbled me.  What about the things you only place hope in?  Do I have some?  Damn, I caught myself.  I do have things in my life that the only strategy I have is hope.  I need to take a look at this and see if there is some action I need to take to add to the hope.

Now, I am not saying hope is bad or wrong.  We need hope.  I still hope to get six books written in a year.  I don’t know that I will accomplish the task.  But I definitely have a strategy to get it done.  I have to write a certain amount every week.  If I fail to reach that number, I write more the next week.  So far my strategy is working.  I hope it continues.  If it doesn’t, I will find a different strategy.  I will not rest in hope.

The rest of this week, I am going to talk about some of the areas that all I have done is hope.  I will look at my options and possibly come up with a strategy.  I would love to hear what you have to think about the quote and my ideas.

Day 352: Families

Why are families important?  What do families provide that we cannot find on our own?

I struggle with these questions.  Really, I have been wondering the answer to them for years.  I believe we have been filled with a Romanized version of what family means.  We see them on our television in thirty and sixty minute snippets of perfection.  Yes, versions of dysfunction are also depicted, but at the end of the episode, all turns out wonderful in the end of the drama for the time.  Real life doesn’t look like this and many families come up short or nonexistent.

Families are made up of the same people as a faith community, political body, or frankly any group of people with a common thread.  The relationships can be loving, disappointing, toxic, dismissive, and the adjectives can go on.  Some people are blessed to have a family that comes together through thick and thin.  Other people get families that abuse.  The rest fall somewhere in between.  And many of us find friends to fill in the gap.

For me, family is important for history and tradition.  I love studying my ancestors to see where they came from and what they endured.  They left the old country for a better life.  They traveled out West to make a better life.  One great, great grandmother survived the death of three children in two years.  They give me an idea of myself, my strong self.  We have mental illness that has run through the family, helping me to be a little more understanding with those struggling.  I watched my grandmother in physical pain, and I am now in pain.  I see a thread of common occurrences traveling through the generations.

I strongly relate to my Norwegian ancestry in the art of craftsmanship through my grandfather and down into my oldest son.  Story telling continues through many of the family.  The love of nature and gardening are a common theme.  I am adding religion to my section of the family via my grandmother.

Family provides continued history through the centuries.  My sister and I come together like sisters in the past.  We tell stories, blood, memories, and traits.  Oh, we also share laughter and tears.  We don't share a city.  We live three hours apart when the Montana roads are clear, longer when the roads are snow and ice covered.  Unfortunately, we can't be there for each other physically all the time, but we are in spirit.  I have no relatives in town, so this is how it is with all my family.  Luckily, I am blessed with an adoptive family.  But that is a whole other story.

Day 351: Strong and Courageous

Be strong and courageous.

The Lord will be with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

This verse has been one I have been praying over for a good four to six months.  The women's retreat that I went on two weekends ago used this verse as the theme.  The idea worked for me.  Strong and courageous women.  I love the idea.  In my fiction, I write about strong and courageous women: Corrion, Kirzantra, and Tessa.  Also, I strive to be a strong and courageous woman in my duty to my country for twenty years of military service, as a wife, mother, and Christian.

The strong and courageous woman we read about was Rahab who hid two men to save her family.  She hung a red rope from her window keeping her family safe from the soldiers.  The red cord was our symbol for the weekend.  I gave a talk on Saturday and one of the women made all the speakers a name plaque with the red cord.

I hung the plaque with a gift I received from my sister, another strong and courageous woman.  The gift is a tree that overlays a cross.  She bought it for me while she was in the Black Forest in Germany.  I love how the two go together.  They will remind me to be strong and courageous in my writing.  I am so very blessed.

Day 350: $100

You have been given $100 on the condition that you must spend it all on yourself.  What will you do with your money.

Wow, the possibilities!  My first thought was I could spend the money on books about the War of the Roses.  Then I thought, no, I have a ton of books already to read.  I don't need more for my library.  I am so funny.  Who am I really kidding?  I always need books for my library.  Of course, I need a bigger library, but still.

For a fleeting moment I thought I could get new clothes.  Naw.  That is boring.  Travel?  The amount wouldn't even cover a night's lodging in many places let alone a plane ticket.  Also, there wouldn't be enough for new furniture either.  Then it dawned on me, plants or trees.  I could go a block from my house and see what the Valley Farms has for sale.  In fact, I might just do that later today.  They are selling the business.  I am very sad.  I should go in and make one more purchase.  Yep, I think I will go buy a tree today.

Day 349: Hindrance

What is standing in your way right now?

I hate to admit it, but my autoimmune disease is standing in my way.  The pain keeps me from doing a good eight hour work day.  I don’t get to clean my house, work in my gardens, or do the creative projects I love to do like I want.  Instead, I do a lot of resting.  I hate resting.  I do thank God that I love television.  I am able to rest because of the stories I dive into; otherwise, my resting would be fretting over the stuff I am not getting accomplished.

I also think the disease stands in my way of travel.  I haven’t traveled much in the last year since I have been in such pain.  I worry about my next trip with a healthy, go, go, go type of person.  I think I will be a disappointment.  The pain in my joints causes me to not walk far without having to take a break.  Doing the five to ten mile tourist walk and keeping up with a tour guide worries me.  Sure, I went to Maui this summer, but my companion kept me from the arduous excursions.  I did well in July due to a cortisone shot, but that lasted only a month.

I am not sure what the future holds for me and my stupid disease.  I will say that I haven't given up.  Far from it.  I go to Las Vegas later this month for a conference.  I will conquer.  I also plan to go somewhere next year, if not a couple of places.  I may not see as many sights when I go visit an area, but I will still go visit.

Day 348: Study

If you had the resources and extra time to go back to school, what would you like to study?

Wow, what a hard question!  I have so many interests: art, theology, writing, literature, history, and gardening.  Of course, I wouldn't study science, so the gardening is out.  The rest though, how in the world would I decide?  The best way would be to pick a favorite era in history.  Hum, even that is difficult.

Some of my favorite eras in history are the War of the Roses, Henry the VIII and Elizabeth, the time of the legend of King Arthur, the Civil War, and the Montana's mining era, specifically the Copper King years.  In the end, I would pick the War of the Roses.  I love the white rose representing the House of York.  My family lived in York during much of this time.  I am fascinated by that.

So, what would I do to go back to school.  I believe I would travel to England and immerse myself in the House of York and Lancaster.  I would go to school somewhere in England.  I would study the art, literature, religion, politics, and daily life surrounding this time era.  I would study the amazing York Cathedral.  Yes, this is what I would study.

Day 347: Listened

When was the last time someone truly listened to you?

I know my husband truly listens to me.  Maybe not always because he is human and he does get distracted, but I know he does listen a lot.  A week ago, I believe most of the twenty-nine women in the room during my talk, listened to me.  But the last time?  This morning when I prayed.  God truly listened to me.