As I washed
dishes by hand tonight, the hot water felt divine on my achy hands. I let my mind wander. All sorts of ideas for a blog post filtered
through my thoughts: quilting, Mom, my father-in-law, life in general, art
class, masks, mental illness, and writing blocks. With an excited step, I left the kitchen,
crossed the dining room, and entered the writing room. Of course, I checked my email and TEAMS to
see if I had received a note from one of Madelle's teachers. After I saw she finished that class with
flying colors for the block, I stupidly looked at Facebook. My desire to write depleted like a hot air
balloon half a mile off the ground due to negativity. When will I learn? Yet, I am not one to turn from a
mission. Well, most of the time. So, here I sit trying to collect some semblance
of a thought or two.
For a month and
a half, I have been MIA on my blog. This
entire year has been hit and miss with my postings. I would love to say I have been busy writing
great fiction. Nope. In fact, I was told my stories lacked depth
and the reader could care less what happened to the characters of the three
short stories I sent into the workshop I attended last month via the internet. Wow, if that doesn't kill the desire to
write!!!
I shouldn't be
surprised by the response. One, I
started the class with a political piece that goes against his beliefs in the
world issues of today. Jerry loved the
story. Oh, well, not the right
audience. Two, I didn't go deep. I have lost my edge at the moment due to everything
going on in my life. Three, I pulled
every one of the words for all the stories like pulling nails off my
fingers. It hurt like hell to write
those stories. I just wanted to do
anything besides write. No wonder they
were crappy. Where does this leave me
with writing? Well, I think I will still
write non-fiction for the blog posts.
The fiction I will take slow until life levels out for me. Jerry doesn't want me to quit. I am not promising anything yet.
I will say that
I have been a bit bored without the writing.
Even if I didn't write during the day, I thought about the stories all
the time. Now I have only my thoughts
about the world bouncing around. Not a
great topic at the moment. I am working
at quilting and crocheting. The house is
a little cleaner than normal as well. I
am still working on de-cluttering. With
the beautiful fall, I am even getting out in the yard to do more clean up. I am keeping pretty busy.
A life change is
hanging over my head. Once this takes
place, I hope to have a consistent schedule that will enable me to at least
write for the blog. November 1st will be
the start of a new focus for me. I am
kind of excited. Actually, I have been
working on the new focus, but I will be going at the new direction with more
gusto.
Until November,
I am not sure that I will be back on the blog.
I am giving myself time to be with family. Last weekend, we picked up Clay and drove to
a family wedding on the Richard side. Tyson
and Carissa, we wish you the very best. This
weekend, Jerry's brothers and mom will be coming to visit. Who knows what will pop up after that! Though I still feel un-tethered, I am
thankful for each new day. Life is meant
for living. And living is change. Bring it on! I am so ready to get this started.
