Day 44: Needs

What do you need right now?

Day One

I need peace.  I need the roar of the world to be put on mute.  Hell, I would be happy if some of the people around me were put on mute.  I need people to quit draining me of my life force.

Day Two

Okay, I probably can’t write that!

I need healing for my daughter.  She has come leaps and bounds. She may have come as far as she will ever get.  I have no idea. But I long for our life to be level in the mental illness aspect of life. 

I also need my physical health to get better.  I am tired of hurting and tired of being tired.

The reality is that I won’t get what I need, at least not in the near future.  Instead, I need to find more patience, more acceptance. I need to rest. I need to back off on the expectations I have in establishing a writing career.  I need to accept the limits of others. I need to rely on my faith.

Day Three

Some of the writing prompts in my notebook stretch my core self.  When I first read this prompt, I thought that I didn’t need anything.  Life is good. I left the answer blank. The next time I read the words, I had a horrible couple days.  My response shows my darker side. The second time trying to answer the prompt, I tried to bring myself back to my normal self.

Today, as I read through the first two attempts, I saw value in sharing both of them.  Now, I am close to my positive outlook on life. Yesterday, I went to my first therapy session since the day my dad died.  I need a little help with anger management and the above issues. My therapist asked what I needed. If I knew that, I would do it myself and wouldn’t have to pay her.  She laughed. We agreed to meet for a while until we can figure it out together.