Day 63: Wisdom

Wise people are not easily offended.

A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.

PROVERBS 19:11 NIV

The above words come from my desk calendar from December 14.  I left the page turned to this page the last couple of days.  One reason is because I had a very busy weekend, but I also wanted to write about the thoughts expressed.

I have longed to be wise.  I work at being wise.  One of Jerry's aunts did a test with us.  Our oldest son was around a year old, so that was a million years ago.  She concluded we have old souls, wise souls.  Some times, I agree.  Most of the time I doubt.

I would love to say that I am never offended.  Really, what is the point of being offended?  The offense only hurts myself.  The person doing the offending are oblivious to how their actions or words are being interpreted.  They are in a bad mood or speak before thinking. People come from different backgrounds and places in life.  Most of the time, I believe people really don't mean to be offensive. 

Now, there are people who want to push my buttons.  They want to make me offended.  They want to lash out.  Of course there are thousands of reasons why they would want to be offensive; however, I believe the main driving force is that the person is miserable.  The nice side of me tries to be patient with the person and not take offense.  The redneck soldier in me doesn't want to give them the satisfaction from offending me.  I mean really, why would I want them to be rewarded for their behavior?

I am not offended very often.  When I am, I find that the reason is that the offense takes me by surprise, and my instinct is to be offended.  After the initial shock, I remember or know the person is hurting.  I get over the offense fairly quickly.  Other times, the offense cuts to the bone; it is personal.  The words or actions come from those I love.  They want someone to be as miserable as they are at the moment.  I could come up with a passel of examples, but I won't dredge up the past this morning.  Maybe another day. 

My wisdom is lacking at times when people try to offend me.  The first year of Madelle's complicated depression was a rough year because I was offended often.  When she has an episode now, I rarely become offended.  She is in a bad place.  She lashes out at me because she knows I will still love her.  I won't leave her side.  When the episode is over, she always apologizes.  An apology goes a lone way.

My desk calendar stopped and made me think of wisdom and offenses.  I didn't touch on the patience aspect of either, but having patience helps tremendously.  I know in the future I will be lacking strength of character and will be offended.  Hopefully, I will stop and think before I react.  Because at the end of the day, I would rather be happy then upset.