the more abundantly you will receive all that you ask.
St. Albert the Great
Wow, what a quote! I love it, but I am not sure where to begin. In the last ten minutes, I have read it about ten times. The first part is easy. I believe in God completely. My confidence in His running my life is huge. I know that He loves me. He delights in me. We have a great relationship. Yes, I am like a toddler at times. I throw a fit or two. But I am completely honest with Him. I am confident in His love for me.
The second part gets a little tricky. The quote at first leads me to believe that God gives me everything I want. However, I rarely ask for anything outright. I have always wanted to live in a place that is foreign to me. Years ago, I told Jerry that I would love for him to do a tour in Washington D.C. Hasn’t happened. We had the chance to move to Indiana. I was excited. God showed us staying in Helena was better. Now, I didn’t ask for the moves to happen. I just told God that it would be really cool and let him take the reins. We have stayed in Montana. I believe that will be true until the day I die. I am good with staying now that the kids are planning to stay in the Big Sky State.
I have asked for God to intervene in my children’s lives. I prayed and prayed for Michel to come back home. I prayed his wife away. Yes, that doesn’t sound very Christian, but she abused him. I sobbed to God to fix the situation my way. I didn’t get what I asked for. Michel never came back to Helena or the family. Here is the thing, my ask was not Michel’s ask. God had to weigh my wants and needs to Michel’s wants and needs. During the entire six years of hell, I trusted God to take care of Michel.
Where does that leave my asking of God to bring Michel home? Michel’s wife would have made his life a living hell if he tried to divorce her. She would have lied, manipulated, and drug Michel through every imaginable scenario to make him utterly miserable. She did it to her prior husband. I would love to say I know my son the best. I don’t. God does. God didn’t pull the trigger that caused a bullet to take Michel’s life. Only God knows who pulled the trigger. What I know is that God loves my son. Michel is safe from her now. And frankly, me and the rest of the family are also safe from her. Did I get what I asked for from God? No, Michel is gone. But yes, we are all safe. I am thankful for God’s goodness.
Of course, the first time I read the quote, I thought “of course, God has given me everything I want and need.” This is always my first thought. I am so very blessed! Sure, the last years have been a struggle in a few areas. But every moment of the day, I feel God’s love. I always have ten things to be thankful for when I close my eyes at night and say goodnight to my heavenly father. Love and thankfulness are truly my asks. He provides abundantly.
Blessings!
I love you. Kathie
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