Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Day 113: Reactions From Changes


The gospel reading on Sunday came from Luke 4:21-30.  The part that struck me during Deacon Steve's homily was about how Jesus' message enraged those from his hometown.  The people saw him as only the son of a carpenter.  They could not see him as anything else. 

I can't remember exactly what Deacon Steve said that sent me thinking about my own hometown, but I did think of Libby.  I went home for my twentieth class reunion.  Now, this was almost twelve years ago.  At the time I had about seventeen years of service in the National Guard.  When I told this to my friend Gary, he started laughing.  I had never had anyone laugh when I told them I was a soldier, but laugh he did.  I couldn't figure out what was so funny.  I did ask.  He responded that he just couldn't imagine me in a military uniform.  My "hometown" couldn't see past the small town girl.

I have thought of that conversation often.  I hold no animosity towards my friend.  In fact, as I thought of it later that night and many times since, I laugh myself.  I had never intended to be a soldier.  I loved to do my hair and wear cute cloths.  Sure I loved to work on my dad's logging truck, and I prided myself in being a part-time tomboy, but the military?  Many times in my twenty years of service, I would stop and wonder.  How did I get here?

I also thought back to when I first was diagnosed with my autoimmune diseases, my son could not see me as anything more then the hard working mom he knew for about sixteen years.  He would get so frustrated with me when I told him I had no more energy for the day.  At the time, I was still working fulltime and going to drill.  Some days, I came home and went straight to bed.  He hated it.  Overtime, he accepted my limits.  Now he comments that I am still strong because I conquer my pain and lack of energy most days.  He also helps me when I need steadied during a dizzy spell.

Huge change is hard for those who think they know a person.  I know I struggled the first time my dad didn't want to hang out with me.  I had traveled up to Libby to see the car show.  When I was getting ready, Dad said he was staying home.  I was hurt.  He was always my partner in crime.  We went all over together when I came to visit.  The entire weekend, he stayed home.  Looking back at it now, I realize his health was beginning to decline.  That was about a year or two before he passed away.  I didn't see it for what it was.  Actually, I refused to see it.  He was my strong fun dad.  In fact, I thought he was annoyed with me or something.  I sure didn't like that change.  I didn't accept it.

As I sat in church, I related to the hometown of Jesus'.  Their reaction was one that has traveled through the ages.  I will try to remember the lesson when people change in my life.  I will try to accept the changes sooner, even if I don't like them.  Of course, I also realize that human nature is to reject the changes.  I am sure I will trip up again and others will trip up with my changes.  I will also try to remember that love is patient.

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