Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Day 79: Erased Memories


What is a memory you would like to erase?



Funny enough, my daughter and I were talking about this on our way to school this morning.  In the Harry Potter book she is reading, Harry and Professor Dumbledore are talking about the Pensieve.  The magic item is filled with a fluid like substance that holds memories. She thought she would like to put all her bad memories into the bowl and then dump the contents into the toilet and flush.  If only bad memories were that simple.

On one level, I would love to erase the memories of the three trips we took Madelle to the emergency room for suicidal thoughts.  The cuts she made on her arms and legs. Or the twice a day trips to the children’s hospital. Oh, and the horrible night I spent when she was in the hospital all alone and Jerry was in D.C. for a military trip.  Yes, to not think of those moments ever again would be a relief.

The problem with forgetting is that because of these memories I am thankful every day that Madelle is still with us.  I am reminded of how far we have come as a family. I am so proud of the progress she has made over the last four years and losing the memories would lessen the pride.  Those moments in our history have made us stronger, thankful, and confident that we are on the right path.

Sure the memories hurt.  I will keep them and let them remind me how good life is on the other side.





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