Day Six: Lies

Name one thing you have lied to yourself about.  Why did you do this?

Hum, some of these writing prompts are a bit personal for blog posts.  I can think of a number of lies I tell myself that I don’t want the general public to know.  However, being here at this workshop I am finding quit a few lies in this area of my life.

First, I keep telling myself it is okay to be an introvert.  I don’t need to network. I can work from home and never interact with other people.  This is much like when I was a kid and told myself it was no big deal if I wasn’t popular.  Well, networking, knowing people, “popularity,” can be very important. And frankly, I suck at it.

Second, the business side of writing can wait is another lie I tell.  I can finish my first series and start all that stuff later. These two related lies have been my mantra for the last three years.  In reality, I really need an internet presence. I need to get a website up and running. I tried to about four years ago. I had some problems that I couldn’t find answers to.  When my daughter started struggling emotionally, I dropped the website. Last year, I flat out procrastinated and lied to myself. This year, I need to get it done.

Why do I tell myself these lies?  Simple, fear. People make me uncomfortable.  I am afraid of being ignored, rejected, and trivialized.  Instead, I put on a cloak of selfassurance. I have a lot of people fooled.  As for the business side, I fear failure and success. If all I do is write, I can feel I am moving forward with out the stress of the unknown.

Will I succeed in fixing my lies?   The first one is such a struggle. But, I will push myself to try to talk to people and not just listen.  I know I will have a list a mile long of things I can do to grow my writing business after this workshop. First, I will conquer the website.  After that, who knows. I will not tell myself the lies. However, I will also recognize my limits and not beat myself up for going slow with people and business.