Day Eight: Risks vs. Safety Net

Most definitely, I prefer a safety net over taking risks.  The other day, I talked about my issues with being around people.  I hate going to social events by myself. When Jerry was in Iraq, I skipped a lot of functions.  He has always been my safety net. Going to everything by myself for 17 months was painful. After the first six months, I started picking and choosing what I went to on the social side of life.

Financially, I also need a safety net.  My husband wants to go into the food business when he retires from the military.  I am like a cat with my back arched and hair standing straight up. I have to keep myself peeled off the ceiling when he talks about the project.  I feel so guilty because he is sooo supportive of my writing en devour. The difference is investment. For me it is mainly time. His is money. This scares me to death.

Thankfully, I have taken risks in my life.  I took a risk joining the National Guard by going off to BASIC training after a year of marriage.  The statistics of marriages lasting through this life change are not in the marriages favor. But we did it.  I took a risk leaving Jerry and Michel to finish my degree in Billings while they lived in Wolf Point. By the end of the year and a half, I could almost drive that route in my sleep!!!  Deployments are also a risk, not that we had a choice. But with both of us in the military, we lived risk and survived.

Writing is a risk.  I expose myself to all sorts of critics.  This trip is a huge risk. I am rubbing elbows with professional writers who are so ahead of me in the profession it blows my mind.  In fact, I am a beginning amateur/hobbyist. I have to up my game in a major way to continue to rub elbows with these amazing writers.  My stomach has been in knots almost this entire workshop. Yesterday, my mind began exploding at some of the financial and legal areas they discussed.  At one point, I thought I might not want to continue this journey. I will share more about that in the days to come. I don’t have one scrap of safety net.  Oh, my!