Trust in God

 “Nothing can happen to me that God doesn’t want.  And all that He wants, no matter how bad it may appear to us, is really for the best.”

-St. Thomas More

The days last week were filled with sorrow and prayer, interspersed with putty, spackling, and paint.  What a combination!  I sit here this morning pondering Thomas’ quote.  I think of his life, 2020, and last week.  Oh, how we need to trust in God!

Sir Thomas More was introduced to me in my twenties when I took British history in college.  He worked for Henry XIII as an adviser.  Thomas, a good Catholic, opposed the king’s desire for a divorce after the Pope said no.  Thomas also opposed the split from the Catholic Church.  King Henry ended up using Thomas as an example of why people shouldn’t oppose him.  Thomas was imprisoned and later his head was chopped off for his “treason,” speaking truth and not following the party line.  

Fifteen years or so later, I learned Sir Thomas More is also known as Saint Thomas More.  Because he died a Martyr for the faith, he is considered a saint in the Catholic Church.  When I went to Reconciliation with Father Stu (yes, the one from the movie), my penance was to learn about Thomas.  Years later, I visited where he is buried, very moving.  

I respect his courage of telling his king the truth with his life on the line.  Anytime in prison, he could have recanted, but he stood by his beliefs.  I can’t even ask a person to stop gossiping about my parish.  Hum, that sentence came out of nowhere.  I will have to ponder that for a later date.  So, did God want Thomas to lose his head?  Did Thomas want to lose his head?  No on both accounts.  Was it for the best that Thomas died prematurely?  Of course not.  God didn’t want Thomas to die.  But God rejoiced in Thomas remaining steadfast in his faith, in truth, and his father in heaven.

How do we apply this to our life?  My mom chose to end her life by starving.  My son chose to marry a broken woman that led to his being killed by her pistol.  God wants the best for me.  In my heart, I know this to be truth.  How can this be the best for me?  God didn’t take the food from my mom.  God didn’t pull the trigger.  People did that.  Broken people.  The reason it happened to me is because they chose their path.  I just happened to feel the aftershock.

So, how did I get the best in these bad situations?  I could write a book about all the best that happened.  In a simplified answer, the best was all the people who stood with me during the aftermath.  Family and friends helped my sister and I in every way imaginable with my mom’s death.  Mom’s house sold two days after going on the market, the biggest example of best.  What a huge gift!!!  The same happened with Michel’s death including a lawyer, detective, and mortician.  (Okay, that sounds like the start of a good joke.  Opps.)  I wanted justice, revenge.  God gave my heart what it truly needed.  Closure and distance from evil.  If that isn’t the best, I don’t know what is better.

Last week, our community was rocked by a death that should not have happened.  All my emotions from Michel bubbled up to the surface.  They’re still bubbling.  Will the sorrow ever end?  Why does God allow this to happen?  No, the sorrow won’t end.  God doesn’t allow bad things to happen.  He allows us to make our own decisions.  People make bad things happen.  So, I prayed.  While I filled holes, textured, and painted our messed-up wall, I prayed for Michel and another young man.  I prayed for the family and friends of both.  I prayed for a generation that is crying out for truth.  I prayed that God would give the best to the young man’s family as God did for us in our crisis.

In the end, I trust in God.  I pray.