Friendship

God sends us friends to be our firm support in the whirlpool of struggle.  In the 

company of friends, we will find strength to attain our sublime ideal.

                                                                                         

St. Maximilian Kolbe

When I read this quote, I knew I had to write about my friends.  Over the years, I have struggled with friendship during different seasons of my life.  We probably all have.  But, during other times, I have been so very blessed.  I could list off many people who have been amazing friends.  Since, my younger days a lot of them have drifted away.  Some I am excited when I see friends from the past (well, in other parts of the world other than where I live; we are still friends) on Facebook.  In fact, that is the reason I keep Facebook.  I would miss them.  Others still reach out with a text, call, or even a visit.  In fact, on Michel’s birthday and/or death day, my college friend reached out to make sure I was doing well.  One of my dear friends from church also reached out.  Knowing they remembered meant so much to me.

Now, I could give a ton of examples of how my friends have helped during my struggles.  Just last week, one of them brought me and Madelle flowers when she heard we were sick.  A bunch of friends have been checking in since I lost hearing last Monday.  These people are amazing!

The second part of the quote really makes me stop and think.  “In the company of friends, we will find strength to attain our sublime ideal.”  I looked in the dictionary to try to understand sublime better.  “Of outstanding spiritual, intellectual, or moral worth.  Tending to inspire awe usually because of elevated quality (as of beauty, nobility, or grandeur) or transcendent excellence.”  What does St. Max mean by “sublime ideal?”  Simply put, it means becoming a saint, getting each other to heaven.

Wow, that is a tall order.  Even here, I have a bunch of friends who do just that!  I have to say though, helping a person get to heaven needs to be more than just smiling and saying hi when you see your friends at church.  It is more than doing fun activities like barbecues or kayaking.  Yes, you do need to do fun things; there is just more to do.  Even more then praying for each other.  We need to pray together.  We need to learn together.  We need to help each other with our spiritual life.  How?  Yep, I have examples.

When I retired from work in 2010, I was so blessed to finally have time for and find a women’s Bible Study group.  This group was a true gift from God.  We learned so much and prayed many prayers together.  As time does, we drifted away, but God gave me two other groups.  I am still with one of them.  Every Wednesday, we meet at one of our houses and discuss our current book of study and pray.  We challenge each other with different ways of seeing and understanding our faith.  I treasure these evenings.  Two years ago, I was blessed to be invited to a mother’s Rosary group.  These friends challenge and teach me.  I love it!!!  Since I joined, I go to daily Mass.  I am still not good at my consistency, but I go.  I have also been going to Eucharistic Adoration.  I am even on the schedule for every Thursday morning.  The first Saturday of the month, a huge group of families drive out to a friend’s ranch.  The evening begins with a prayer service.  Afterwards, we enjoy fellowship over a potluck dinner.  Amazing!!!  And I am sure there are tons of other examples of ways we can help our friends to heaven.

I am a firm believer in self analyzing, discerning my behavior.  How good of a friend am I?  If you were to ask my friends, because they are wonderful, they would probably say I am a good friend, maybe even great.  But they are a lot like my mom saying I am beautiful.  It counts, but I am sure there are areas to work on.  I know many of the areas I could work on.  

One is that I talk too much at times and end up thinking afterwards that, “Geez, Lisa, the world doesn’t revolve around you!!!”  Drives me nuts, but my mouth just won’t stop running away with me.  If I were to bring it up to some of my friends, I am sure they would agree.  Of course, a lot of times they are very gracious and forgiving.  I do work on trying to listen more often and ask questions.  Then I find myself telling my story.  Gurr.  Will I ever learn.  God, please help me.

The other main flaw I have is communication.  In fact, this is an area that I want to work on this year.  My main issue is that of reaching out.  I am not sure when it began.  Probably in the college years, but it happened over and over.  I find a friend who I want to spend time with.  I invite them to this and that.  The months go by and they don’t invite back or call back.  Whether it is because they don’t like me, they are introverts, or they are just busy, I have let this close myself off to reaching out.  Yes, I know all the ramifications for this behavior.  In the end, it is just wrong.

About eight years ago, God placed in my life the most obnoxious neighbor.  I say this with all love and sincerity.  She knows what I mean.  I had known her before this, but a beagle and a dachshund started our true friendship.  We started walking our dogs every day during the work week.  Now this lady calls, stops by, comes up with adventures, well, you name it, she epitomizes the St Max’s quote!!!  She has helped me to call more.  Well, call her, invite her….  I want to be like her when I grow up.

I have to also include two other friends.  They are also good at reaching out and inviting.  One of them I will be going to a concert with on Thursday.  I hope the meds get me hearing again before then, but I will still go if she is game.  It is the togetherness that is important.  The other friend…well, she is the one who I go to lunch with after Mass.  She also has me going to baseball games and well, the list is just too long.  Yep, I have some great friends to relearn from.

So, this year, one of my goals is to reach out more.  Even being sick most of this month, I have been able to go to coffee with an amazing lady.  Yep, we prayed at the coffee shop and had a great conversation.  I cheated once.  I went to Mass for the purpose to see another friend.  I know Jesus understands.  I didn’t have her number, and I just had to check in with her.  I now have her number because she took mine.  I am a work in progress.

With my hearing mostly gone, I won’t be getting together much.  However, I can check in with my friends via text or email.  In fact, I need to go do just that.  So, go out, be a St. Max kind of friend.

Wow, I talked a lot again.  (Shaking my head.)  Blessing!