Loneliness

During my Facebook or research perusing in the last week, I came across an interesting article about loneliness.  The article stayed with me.  The main reason it stuck in my head is because on January 17, Britain announced a Minister of Loneliness.  The concept of the government stepping in to help with such an issue amazed me.

My first thought was of the elderly being those who struggle with loneliness.  Spouses die and children live far away.  I believe they are the group to suffer the most, but others also battle loneliness.  I thought of myself.  In my own life, I have gone through times of loneliness.  Being the mother of a new born, not working, and in a new town, I had days of loneliness.  My husband and in-laws helped me through this time.  When my husband went to Iraq, my days were filled with many activities, but I was very lonely for him.  I relied on those activities.  When each of my sons left for college, I struggled during the transition.  I changed up my life with new activities to help pass through the new way of life.  When I retired, I worried about loneliness.  Friends stepped in and gave me things to do.  I was very blessed during all of those times.

The latest bout of loneliness descended due to my daughter's mental illness.  Days on end, I was unable to leave her alone.  I felt very isolated.  I felt imprisoned.  Fortunately, I have a couple close friends (and an awesome husband) who help me get out to combat the long dreary days.  Even with that, the journey can still be very isolating and lonely.  The winters are even harder.  I can't wait for spring to get out more and hopefully my girl will come with me because I know she is lonely as well.

Besides being isolated during the crisis phase of my daughter's illness, I am also retired.  I spend my days writing alone in my room.  I may not see or talk to a person after my husband leaves for work until he gets home.  How do I keep from getting lonely?  I volunteer at my church every other week.  When the weather is good, I walk with a friend three to five days out of the week.  I belong to a Bible Study group which meets three times a week.  I attend church.  I go on artist dates with a friend.

Why the concern about loneliness?  Shouldn't we all like ourselves enough to deal with alone times?  Can't we just pick ourselves up?  Not, necessarily.  Loneliness can easily turn into depression.  I have battled depression in the last three years.  Unchecked, a person's health can deteriorate and lead to suicide.  The chief officer of Age UK, Mark Robinson states, that extreme loneliness can be as bas as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.  Britain is not alone in the situation.  Japan and the United Stats also have the same issues that hit all age groups. 

For Me, the way to combat loneliness is to be involved.  I will say though that for those homebound, what can be down?  Those with social anxiety might not be able to be involved.  Others may not be able to leave their houses due to physical disabilities.  My daughter is virtually in this position with her anxiety.  We have a "family" game night when friends come over almost every Tuesday evening.  These people are safe for her.  When she is feeling good, she goes to Girl Scouts.  That is it.  

Loneliness can be a major battle for so many people at all ages in many different scenarios.  I have no real answers how to help all those who suffer.  I do think as individuals we can help those around us.  Invite people on outings.  Go visiting.  Make phone calls.  Reach out.  Create community.  I wonder what a Minister of Loneliness will actually be able to accomplish.