Friday, July 20, 2012

Ways To Keep Our Salt

Detachment!!!  Detachment?  Detachment!!!  After I posted my blog about salt, I realized I still didn’t have an answer to how to protect my salt.  The whole idea seems to be a conundrum for me.  The explanation does say what we are to do.  Let’s see how I fare.
*** I have to be totally dedication to Jesus.
Growing up, I gave my life to Jesus at a young age.  I would say either in grade school or middle school.  I know it took place at the Church of God.  As I grew older, I worked really hard at being the “good” girl for my parents, teachers, and world.  I failed many times but kept trying.  In high school, I found friends with like minded endeavors of goodness.  I am sure I continued to fail in areas but kept trying.  As an adult, I still try to be the “good” girl.  I fail, pick myself back up, and try some more.  In my, dare I say it, middle age I continue the process I have been in since grade school with a lot of study of the saints who have gone before me, study of the Bible, and current literature.  I try to keep like minded friends to help me with my dedication.  I know I can pray more, give more, study more and be more.  Yet, as a woman living in the secular world with a family, I believe I am very dedicated.  God will continue to help me become more so.
*** I need to be detached from possessions.
Okay, on the surface, I feel I do this very well.  I live in a modest house with few toys.  My vehicle is paid for and I have no debt but the house payment.  By the world’s standards I am golden.  By God’s standards, I am doing well.  I could improve though.  If asked, I don’t know if I could get rid of my pickup.  I love my pickup.  I also love my home.  These are possessions.  I love my travel, more possessiveness.  I marvel at how the apostles left their homes, family, and possessions to follow Jesus.  Deep in my heart I don’t think I could leave my home, husband, kids, and pickup to go on a permanent mission trip like they did with Jesus.  God doesn’t call us all to this though.  He called me to have a family and be married.  He provides us with our transportation, roof, and entertainment.  God doesn’t want for us not to be happy, but he does want us to be detached from worldly possessions that keep us from Him.  I believe I am doing this well, not perfect, but well.
*** I need to not be a halfhearted disciple.
What is a halfhearted disciple?  At first thought, a person who skips church, talks ill of others (gossip), talks Christian but acts worldly, and really the list can go on are halfhearted disciples.  Hum, I don’t think I skip church without being sick.  When my defenses are down, I talk ill of others.  I know there are people out there who think I am hypocritical about my faith.  At times they are right.  I sin.  The apostles had their moments of half-heartedness.  I believe this is the human condition.  The key is to see when I am being halfhearted and remedy my actions and/or attitude at the time.  I believe 95% of the time I am dedicated to God.  The 5% when I am halfhearted (in a sinful state) means I need to be praying more and detached from the world.  Okay, looking at my percentages I am feeling very egotistical.  Eighty, twenty or fifty, fifty, I am not sure what my percentages are, but I do need to keep trying 24/7.
*** I need to be detached from family.
I want to take this deeper.  I believe I need to be detached from family, friends, and the world.  I need to be detached from myself and only ATtached to God.  I suck at being detached.  I care too much about the people around me.  I want to fix/help everyone I come in contact with.  When I was younger, I would get so insulted if people didn’t let me help.  I can think of one friend who never let me into her problems.  She moved out of her house for a week or two before I even knew.  She had a wall around her so thick that I couldn’t break it down.  Unfortunately, I probably did more damage than good even if all I was trying to do was help.  She forgave my self-righteous attitude and is still a very dear friend.  I also care what people think and say about me.  Okay, I don’t care what the average acquaintance thinks or says, but I care deeply about what my close friends and family think.  I need to detach from this because I then can’t be the person God calls me to be.  Just today I received a call from a loved one who kind of accused me of doing something very mean.  For about 20 minutes I fretted about what this person thought of me and what this person may say about me to other loved ones, more hateful thoughts which caused me to lose sight of God’s plan for me.  When the relationship is close, it is so hard to detach.  I had to remember it is what God thinks that matters.  My expectations are also a problem.  I expect those close to me to be loyal and have my back (stand up for me, not stab me in the back).  I need to detach myself from my expectations.  There is no peace when people can’t/won’t live up to them. And really, God has my back.  I don’t need anyone else too.  Though it is nice to know I have my husbandJ  I am better at this now then 20 years ago, but I need to keep working on it.
                I do lose my salt when I am not dedicated to Jesus, apply myself halfheartedly, am attached to possessions, and relationships.  The key is to rededicate every day, live fully for Jesus, detach from everything and everyone only to leave ourselves attached to God.
                Blessings to you all.

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