Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Grumpiness

               The beginning of this year hope was restored to me in my battle with pain.  I started injecting a medicine by needle instead of ingesting it through pill form.  I went virtually pain free for four months.  I envision heaven being painless.  Summer loomed with beautiful possibilities of fun in the sun and finishing many much needed projects.  Memorial Day my back went out and for the last two months and some odd days, I have been living in pain once again.  Steadily, I have been working on my to-do list with some progress.  Two day ago, my throat started hurting, a summer cold.  Really, must we add a cold to pain?
                I am a firm believer that our attitude will dictate 90 percent of a positive or negative outcome in our lives.  For forty plus years, I have watched many people decide their fate through hard work or lack thereof and approach to life either optimistic or pessimistic.  I follow the hard working optimistic mentality.  By being this way, I have succeeded in obtaining a college degree with a lack of financial backing and retiring from a twenty year career in the military.  Even in a lot of pain, I strive to accomplish tasks throughout the day, but I have to tell you, it isn’t easy.  There are days I just want to curl up in my bed and whine with the best of the pessimists.  Today was one such day!  I am feeling a bit defeated.
                When my husband’s alarm clock started discussing something (talk radio), I groaned.  My first thought, “My throat hurts, my head hurts, I want to paint,” whining dripping from each word.  I had suspected I was coming down with something because I hadn’t felt good the day before and ignored it.  My alarm was scheduled to start beeping (no talk radio for me) two hours later.  Usually I get up right after my husband.  I tried to get back to sleep.  I snoozed for an hour and a half still feeling poorly.  The morning proceeded at a steady crawl until I dropped my daughter off at Vacation Bible School at the same time picking up my friend’s baby to watch so she can teach. 
                Rapunzel Five (the nickname my son has given the baby; there are five girls in total) is a delight and very easy to care for.  She and I hung out all morning, but my back started hurting.  I am not used to carrying little ones and all their gear.  At noon, I switched baby for my nine year old and came home.  To continue resting, I sat in front of the computer for a little down time and watching Netflix.  Neither the speakers nor the headphones produced any sound.  Hum….
Two months of pain, a cold, no sound and more pain resulted in me becoming a bit grumpy.  I called my husband growling about his computer.  Patiently he reminded me to restart the machine.  I had to do it twice before it started working.  I went to my chiropractor’s appointment trying to smile and be friendly.  Instead, I complained to the young lady who puts the electro shock pads on my back and buffers it.  This made me a bit grumpier because I hate being a complainer.  I stopped at the pharmacy for a refill to a prescription.  I glared when the lady said the pharmacist had to check it first.  Finally back home, I sat in front of the television to veg out.  My daughter wanted to watch a movie.  Hey, I could do that without displaying any negativity.  She ended up ditching me for the neighborhood kids, but I didn’t mind.  My husband ran away to hang out with friends.  I was invited, but no one wants a grump around. 
I learned from a pain management book that I have to rest when I know big things are in store for me.  I still have three more days of baby duty which I am so happy to do.  In fact, I am thankful.  God sent me this time with Rapunzel Five to have a positive activity to participate in while I am dealing with a sore throat and headache.  Plus, she gives me a chance to rest instead of trying to paint and garden.  I didn’t do great with the attitude today, but I will try again tomorrow sore throat or not.  Tonight when I say my thankful prayer, I will include asking for strength for the new day I will embark on in the morning.  He will be with me and that puts a smile on my face and conviction in an optimistic outlook for tomorrow.
Blessings to you all.

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