Thursday, June 21, 2012
An Ordinary Life
Over the past couple of months, I can’t even guess at how many times I have opened up a word document typing away at a thought. The next thing I know the black words that pop out at me turn to a gray so light the letters begin to fade. The dry spell of my faith study consumes my writing life as well. Today I am determined to write a post even if my readers also see the dryness. To top off my spiritual drama, my back went out causing me to be in bed for two weeks. I am still struggling with the pain and being very careful not to reinjure it. Due to the physical stress, the fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis wanted to show me they are still around. I would be lying if I claimed I have remained in good spirits. Depression and grumpiness have been a part of my days off and on, but I continue to plague these emotions with a positive attitude and enjoying life’s simple moments.
Today I enjoyed a phone conversation with my mother-in-law and I expressed my frustration with this desert I am in the middle of. “Why don’t you write about it?” Well, I don’t want to bore my readers nor do I want to wallow in self pity. Like she stated though, I am still walking on my journey. So what am I doing to travel through? I am praying, reading non-faith books, attending Mass when my pain isn’t so bad, watching television, cleaning and gardening when I am doing well, visiting my dad, hanging out with the kids and husband, and attempting writing. Really, besides studying faith, I am doing all the things I usually do with added resting times. In other words, I think I am being boring.
Take yesterday for example, my daughter and I went to visit friends. What a blessing they are! The girls disappeared playing both in the house and outside. One of the girls introduced me to her two new puppies Dorothy and Toto (stuffed animals). Another girl and I discussed who her teacher will be in the fall. I witnessed two others playing dentist with a spray bottle and everything. My friend and I chatted while she fed her youngest. After putting the little one down for a nap, we strolled through her yard looking at the greenhouse, garden, and chicken coup. Best of all we chatted. The conversation went all over from school, composting techniques, gardening tips, husbands, kids, family, all ordinary things. I could claim that the amazing part of the afternoon is having the presence of the Holy Spirit with us. However with this friend, I am blessed to have this feeling of grace present in our relationship all the time making it an ordinary event.
Yes, I have been living a dry ordinary existence. I have loved almost every moment of it. At Mass on Sunday, Father asked us if we felt holy enough. Many heads, including my own, shook them no. He claimed this is a wonderful thing because if we did feel holy enough, we wouldn’t remain humble. Today I come to you not very holy living an ordinary life filled with contentment. I challenge you to do the same.
Blessings to you all.