Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Standing By The Sidelines

            The biggest responsibility I have with my journey to holiness other then my own faith life is the life of my children.  The last couple of weeks have been trying with last night and this morning overflowing with emotions.  The biggest drama encompasses my son, the middle child.
            Over the last two years, I have watched, listened, and advised as he treads the waters of dating.  He splashes, sinks, and learns as we all have through these teenage years.  Our guidance is to pray, be lovingly honest, be true to self, and always be a gentleman.  I really struggle with sitting on the sidelines as drama enters the picture with only listening and advising.  Last night, he talked about an argument that happened and my heart broke a little more for both parties. 
This morning a little of the emotions from the argument slipped onto facebook in a post I read from one of the sources.  I am bothered when these posts point fingers at others so publicly even when names aren’t mentioned.  Granted, here I write on a blog post pointing my own finger, so I am feeling a bit hypocritical.  In the days the Bible was written, people stoned others.  To me this is a cryptic verbal stoning.  Instead we are to take the person aside to speak to them of matters not shout it from the market place.  As a parent, what am I to do?  If it were bullying, character defamation, or another tremendous breach of behavior, I would become more involved, but it is minor.  I didn’t mention it to my son.  I continue to pray.
As he left the house this morning, I gave him my blessing.  “Also, remember you are loved.” 
He grinned.  “Remember you are loved too.”  My daughter and I just had a fight and he lovingly reminded me that I needed to remember as well.
Raising a daughter has been very challenging for me.  The emotions are so overwhelming.  I don’t do so well with them.  Last night, she came into our room with tears flowing down her cheeks.  “I think something is wrong with Kermit.”  I passed her over to her dad because I was busy editing a project.  As they left the room, I realized this could be big.  I jumped up and followed them.  Sure enough, poor Kermit the hamster was dead.  We have only had him for a month.  As expected, Madelle was devastated.  We found a biodegradable box for a coffin.  Kermit was laid to rest in the backyard with an Our Father said and some special words. 
This morning she was still sad as was I when I thought of him.  As I packed her lunch, I asked about her homework.  With the death of her pet, we all forgot about it the night before.  She started working on the math.  The details aren’t important.  The result is her not listening, me raising my voice, and her running to her room slamming the door.  I prayed.  She apologized.  We hugged.
As she gathered her gear to leave the pickup in the school parking lot, I reminded her of my love.  “Also, I prayed for you.”  She left with a heavy heart.  Again, I am standing by the sidelines watching her go through the waves of grief.
Blessings to you all.

1 comment:

  1. Compelling thoughts as usual... been there done that and as you say you have to pick your learning moments and hope that you've given your children the tools love and support needed to make it through the ups and downs of life.

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