Friday, December 4, 2015

Still A Prisoner


Since the last time I wrote, we have fared pretty well.  We struggled a bit going into Thanksgiving, but we managed the holiday.  This week I didn't say a word when Madelle asked to stay home on Wednesday, though hours before she was hopeful to attend school the entire week.  Today, we are losing the battle.

She came home in a panic.  Her headphones were still at school.  I quickly grabbed my keys and we headed into town to see if we could get them.  All the way to the school, she yelled that she didn't want to be angry about the headphones.  She yelled about me not talking.  She didn't like the topics I brought up.  It was constant negativity for three miles.  I told her much more and we were going home.  She apologized and said she wanted to go home.  She cried that she wanted her puppy.  I worked at calming her down and reminding her we just had a little longer to go.  The whole time I am ready to come across the car and throttle her.  I want to yell.  I don't deserve her attitude.  I was just trying to help.

We get to the school and ask at the office if we can check a room or two.  The secretary was so nice and she took us around, but we found no headphones.  As we left the school, the whining and insistence began.  "I can't go a weekend without my headphones."  "We have to go shopping now."  I start for home telling her maybe later tonight if her dad wanted to go or tomorrow when I planned on going shopping.  She realized a mile from home the headphones were in her saxophone case at home.  I laughed.  Really, all of this and they were with her the entire time?

At home we started getting ready to leave for our weekend away.  She asked if she was a bad kid.  I told her I loved her, but she had to work on how she treated me.  I asked her how she would feel if she were treated in such a way.  "I don't know."  She yelled and went to her room.  That was an hour and a half ago.  She still hasn't come out though both her dad and I have tried to get her to come out.  We are prisoners again.  I tried to tell the husband he can go without us.  He said no, "we will go at three in the morning if need be."  Lovely.  Five and a half more years of this.  How do you not feel like a horrible mother?

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