Wednesday, September 9, 2015

A Healing Weekend

The beginning of the school year has been keeping me extremely busy.  As my posts have expressed, I have been struggling with my own depression due to the problems of Madelle's mental illness.  We have had additional family problems that have also left me reeling.  I look back at the last months and look out the window to my vegetable garden turned weed patch, wondering where my summer went.  Drama!!!  I hate drama.  As much as I try to cut it from my life, the tendrils of negativity seep under the door.  Thus, I have been trying to get outside to get rid of the messes of four to five foot weeds and other tasks.  I still have all the appointments for Madelle, want to write, a huge church function to prepare for, fantasy football, and a family gathering.  Life is not slowing down.  But some healing has taken place.

This past weekend, I attended the family gathering.  My father-in-law's health is declining so his amazing sisters threw a huge birthday party for him to celebrate his life and legacy.  My in-laws are the best.  The party itself with friends and family was set for three hours; however, the family spent the entire three day weekend together.  We broke bread, played games, shopped at the farmer's market, joked around, attended a sheep run, and simply hung out.  Beautiful memories were created.

Yes, I did struggle a bit.  One, I am an introvert.  Two, I have no capability to chit chat when my heart is weighted down.  But that is what is so wonderful about all of the family.  They understand that I am quiet.  They understand that life throws curve balls that chatter the glass of our emotions.  They continue to love and support.  Not one judgment was made about how we are handling Madelle.  I could rest in the laughter.  I healed through the smiles and hugs.

I realize the depression still lurks in the background.  We still have a lot of battles to fight.  I am not able to get to my writing as much as I would like.  But, my hope is restored.  I see my blue sky of Montana in all its glory.  So, I am off on my writing and blog schedules.  The church function and gardening will continue to cause complications with my word counts.  But soon the snow will fly and no more work will be done outside.  In a couple of years, Madelle will be conquering the world and I will have tons of time to write.  Life is still beautiful.

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