Thursday, March 22, 2012

Where I Belong

            No matter what happens in my life, I must admit that my life is wonderful.  This is not to say that I haven’t had my struggles.  We all have those.  Yet, I have always seen the work of God in my life.  Right now, I am especially in a good place so my moodiness the last couple of weeks has stopped me in my tracks.  The time of year is lent and spring is coming.  My attitude should reflect the beauty of life.  It hasn’t.  I looked back to last year.  My family took a cruise through the Mexican Riviera.  When we came home, I was moody.  What is up with this?
            I have decided I don’t like March.  I want to, but I don’t.  Sorry all you wonderful people who were born or married in March and sorry Saint Patrick, but I just don’t like March.  I believe I read somewhere that vitamin D can affect my autoimmune diseases.  Depression can also be an issue when a person is deficient in this vitamin.  Yes, I do take the pill throughout the year and take heavy doses of it during the winter months, but by March I need real sunlight consistently.  March just doesn’t have it where I live.  I am ready to be outside 24/7 but the weather just isn’t at that point.  Yesterday it was.  I went out for about thirty minutes in between my busy schedule.  Today I can feel the real sun vitamin D pulsing through my veins.  I feel good.  Bring on more sun!!!
            I am not sure how to combat this for next year.  I did just write a note in my yearly calendar for next December to remember to try sun tanning for February and March.  Maybe this will help my spirit to survive March more gracefully instead of how I am now: basically I feel all people are ignoring me or just putting up with me because they have to.  I really get into a woe is me attitude.  It is pretty ugly and miserable.  My poor husband deserves a medal for putting up with me!
During my moodiness, a song caught my attention while driving my kids all over the valley.  I have declared it my theme song for the next little while.  (If I haven’t mentioned before, I believe my life has a sound tract.)  The song is “Where I Belong” by Building 429.  One specific line gives me shivers.  “This is not where I belong”.  Even with my beautiful life, I am not where I belong.  People hurt me.  “Sometimes it feels like I’m watching from the outside.”  My body aches.  “So when the walls come falling down on me, And when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea.”  There is a better place where I belong.  Heaven.  I don’t belong on Earth: I belong in Heaven.
Again, I want to state.  I have a beautiful life.  My husband and kids are the world to me.  I love planet Earth with the stunning sunrises, animals, landscapes, plants, trees, rivers, lakes, oceans, and sunsets.  I don’t want to miss a minute of all the gifts God gives us here.  Yet, this is not my home.  People are mean.  Death happens.  Diseases consume.  Tragedy strikes.  Even still, I will make this place as much home as possible, but someday I will meet my father in heaven and return to my true home where I belong.
I went out to YouTube to listen to the song.  At the end, this verse showed on the screen.  “He will wipe every tear from their (my) eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, [for] the old order (life on Earth) has passed away.”  Revelation 21:4
Blessing to you all.

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