Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Reflecting


                In my eternal study of the best way to forward my career, the other day I came across a statement.  The blogger commented, that as an author, the best practice of blogging is to stay away from all topics dealing with religion and politics.  Their logic was sound in that a writer doesn’t want to alienate their potential readers due to differences of philosophy in these areas.  Of course, after reading this, I have felt the urge to write about faith issues.  Will I push potential readers away?  Maybe.  But if my readers want to know who the real me is, they will discover that I am a Catholic Christian.  I love my faith because it has molded me and continues to help me grow as a caring person of all mankind. Am I perfect, heavens no!  I am also a conservative republican, but I try to appreciate other viewpoints because that is what makes our country great. 

Earlier today, I ran across this quote.  “Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.”  Cyril Connolly.  I am going to break the rule many writers follow and talk about faith to write for myself.

 

Being a writer and being Lisa, I reflect on my actions and the actions of others both in the present and past.  I also analyze where I have been, where I am at, and where I would like to be in my faith, life, relationships, and career.  During Lent, I do this even more due to the nature of the season.  Here is a quote I came across in my readings earlier this month.

 

“Some people think worst of me than I am, others better.  But Jesus knows what I’m up to – good or bad.  And he loves me.

If maligned (slandered, badmouthed) for doing right, I can take courage.  The Lord knows the truth.

                                If I get credit for things I don’t deserve, I must take heed.  The Lord knows the truth.

                Either way, I’m safest with the Lord.  He knows me better than anyone, and I know he knows.  No need to fake it.  And he loves me more than anyone.”

 

                As I stated, I reflect a lot.  I rehash the same negative scenes over and over wondering how I could have acted better.  I especially look at the relationships in my past that have failed in one way or another.  I contemplate my part and the other person’s.  Depending on my mood, I will either blame myself or justify myself.  In reality, it took both me and the other person to fail at the relationship.  This season, I specifically reflected on one bad association when I came across this quote.  I know because of the falling out “people think worse of me.”  But God loves me.  I know some of the people involved have gossiped about me either telling the truth or not.  God however knows the truth.  I am sure with some people I get all the credit for the situation being bad.  God knows.  I remain in the safety of my loving father.  He and I both know I am far from perfect.  I don’t have to fake it and he accepts me warts and all.

                Since I read and prayed over the quote, I have been at peace.  At some point, I believe I will repeat the scenes in my mind once again.  As a writer, the emotions are what makes for good stories.  However, I know the truth in that I have a constant companion in my journey that keeps me safe.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Hating March


                I wrote this post eleven days ago.  I usually let my posts rest for a day before editing them and putting them up on the blog.  I never accomplished this task because my body went into pain mode of a pretty big flare-up.  I would love to say that I have handled the set back with grace, but alas, I became pretty grumpy by this past weekend.  Yesterday, I actually woke up with about five hours’ worth of energy.  We will see how today is going.  I am counting down the days in March.  Seven!!!  Of course, I will struggle a little in April, but not as much.

 

The last couple of years I have developed a hatred for the month of March.  Last year when I realized I dreaded the inevitable coming of the third month, I wondered why.  I mean, I love spring.  March, many times, brings warmer weather, birds, and shoots of green.  In fact, this afternoon on my way to the mailbox, I saw sprouts emerging from my poppy.  All of this should bring me joy.  I love to garden and I can begin my work when the temps are in their forties: raking, trimming, and cleaning.  Yet, the end of April rolls around and I find I haven’t done a thing and am already behind in the gardening curve.

                Tonight I worked on my second load of dishes for the day.  I have not had an ounce of energy for the past four days and I was determined to get the four days worth of dishes done.  I was also determined to get my bed made which I normally do every day but haven’t accomplished since about Monday.  Yes, I have been thankful that all the clouds rolling in through the valley haven’t caused me any pain, but it has caused my body fighting fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis, leaving me doing the bear minimums of taking care of my daughter.  Since I didn’t have to drive her anywhere, in between rest periods, I have worked on cleaning.  As my back growled at me for standing up too long and my hands enjoyed the warmth of the dish water, I watched more clouds roll into the valley from the west.  The reason for hating March dawned on me. 

                The change of weather causes me to ache and/or have no energy.  March is one of our most fluctuating times of the year and leaves me completely drained.  Now I need to take this knowledge and come up with a plan to make the month more enjoyable.  Hum, this is going to be a challenge.  How do you make a month enjoyable when your energy is completely drained?  How do you entertain yourself when you feel like a zombie?  I should work on my reading list so I can answer those crazy quizzes and get 90 of 100 instead of 36, kidding, as if I need more to read.  I have over 70 books on my list as it is. 

Anyway, I am glad I finally figured out the problem with March.  For the rest of the month, I will work at a better attitude and find the little pleasures as my body is buffeted by the changing barometric readings.  I will grasp my good days with abundant activity.  On the bad days, I will putter around the house while crocheting and reading.  Instead of fighting the inevitable, I will embrace the journey.

Is there a month you struggle with?  How do you get through the rough spots?

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Cabin Fever


                My cat and I have a lot in common this week, cabin fever.  With all the ice, snow, and low temperatures, we have been staying in the house as much as possible.  She wanders around meowing to let us know of her discontent.  I kick her outside for a minute or two periodically throughout the day, but she isn’t getting her hunting, fresh air time. 
                Yesterday, I felt her pain.  I wandered around the house complaining about everything.  In fact, I wrote a long paragraph about all of the stuff I am tired of dealing with of late.  Today, I kicked myself out for a short time.  I almost fell on my butt in one parking lot from all the ice.  My vehicle slid in a couple of areas.  I am back in the house with the cat.  We have put white flags up in our corners.  Each of us dreams of spending significant amounts of time out in the sun.