Day 302: Patience With Myself

What requires your patience today?

Myself!  I love to write.  At least I tell myself that and believe it until I sit down in front of the page.  My resistance rears its evil head, and I don’t want to write anymore.  For some reason, I have not wanted to write all summer.  Well, if I look back at my calendars of the past five years, I have terrible word counts every summer.  This summer I have forced myself to sit down to work.  Everyday, I feel like I am going in front of a firing squad.  Everyday, I would rather do a million other things.  I need to be patient because beating myself up over it will only make my muse run and hide in a better place where I can’t find her.

For the last two days, I wanted to hit my project "Victory" hard.  I wanted the word count and novel finished.  The reluctance to write has slowed the count down.  I am working against a couple of things.  One, the normal summer resistance where kids are in the house, and I would rather be goofing around.  I am also dealing with a couple of losses in my life.  Finally, the project is dark.  The project is important.  Yes, I know a project shouldn't be important.  This will send a muse running.  The problem is that I don't know how to make it not be important.  I am dealing with the issue of mental illness and the topic is very near and dear to my heart.  So, I have to be patient.

I am happy to report that I have conquered 4, 114 words in the last two days.  I believe that I only have an estimated 9,100 words left to write.  Of course, then I have the read through and publishing to finish by August 30.  Ugh!!!

Anyway, enough of this blog post, so I can get back to the fiction!