How do you act when you are afraid?
I would say this depends on what I am afraid
of. I don’t react the same way with all
the different things I fear. I will say
that I am not very often a courageous lion type.
Many years ago, I did learn how I react when I
am a battle situation. The summer I
spent two weeks at Camp Williams, Utah, I learned I would never be a hero that
rushed into danger. My squad and I were
on a mission with our MILES (multiple integrated laser engagement system)
gear. We went up against another squad. Half of my squad did great. I was supposedly the leader, but I followed
them and let them be in harms way, hiding behind anything I could find. I did fire my weapon, but I wasn't proud of
my actions. I hated ever minute of our
battle on the hilltop. We took the hill
because my people where good. I learned
that combat wasn’t my forte and I would remain a desk jockey.
I also panic.
Years ago, my cheesecake caught on fire in the oven. I yelled at Jerry to come help while I danced
around in the kitchen watching him be smart and use the fire extinguisher on
the dessert. I would have watched it
burn. Stupid. I panic on any carnival ride or rollercoaster
that takes me high up in the sky, especially if my legs are dangling. My family laughs at me. I keep my eyes closed and sometimes curse
like a sailor.
Other times, I do focus and keep my fear at
bay. I pray. I breath deeply. I often avoid the situation. I also work at keeping the fear next to my
heart, especially when it comes to my children.
I don't want them to know my fears about the future for them, especially
for my daughter. I put on a brave face
and cheer them on.
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