Babies: A Step to Holiness

                Monday marked the 38^th Anniversary of Roe vs. Wade.  In Washington D.C. and around the country tens of thousands of people participated in the March for Life which has been held since 1974.  Throughout the years, I have struggled with this political/religious issue.  As a mother, I can’t imagine every making the decision to abort my baby.  Yet, as a mother, I can’t imagine inflicting more pay on a young woman who feels she has no other option but to abort her baby.  God gives us all a gift or two, but being a part of this movement on the frontlines is not my gift.  But recognizing beautiful stories and writing about them is something I can do.

                Over twenty years ago, a family member found herself pregnant at a young age.  Being of strong faith, she prayed and prayed and prayed some more.  Abortion was not an option for her of which the family was very proud.  After agonizing over her decisions, she finally decided to give the baby up for adoption.  All of this seems to be a lifetime ago.  My husband and I asked to take the baby, but in an infinite amount of wisdom, we were turned down.  My heart ached for this baby.  I still long to know the baby, now a young woman; I pray for her and love her dearly.  The adoption was open; so many pictures came to the family.  I will never forget the family picture of my little niece with her mother and father.  My breath was taken away.  She looked just like her beautiful adoptive mother.  My heart healed that day because of this young family member’s steps to holiness by giving the gift of life to a couple who couldn’t have a child.

                Soon after all of this happened in the family, I joined the military and went to BASIC training.  There was another young girl in my platoon that I became friends with.  One day we began debated abortion.  I made the statement that I believed in abortion when the girl was raped.  She proceeded to tell me the story of her little sister.  She had been raped at an early age.  It seems like she was fourteen, but I am not sure.  The entire family went through hell from the emotional turmoil this caused.  Her sister was adamant about not aborting the baby.  After the baby was born, the love the family had for him caused all of them to heal and to move on to a wonderful life after great sorrow.  This young woman took a step towards holiness.

                The other day I listened to a woman tell an amazing story on the Catholic Radio channel.  Her mother was pregnant at age 42.  The doctors advised she about the twins she was carrying because at her age they would not be born healthy.  Her and her husband refused.  At twenty-six years old, the twin brothers were anointed priests to serve God and His people.  What a step to holiness.  Not only did she say no to abortion, she raised the children to love and serve God.  What an amazing testament to life.

                During each of my three pregnancies, we had the option to take a test to determine if the baby had any defects.  I am the type that would worry about such things more than prepare for them, so we opted to not take the test.  I believe my doctors would not have mentioned abortion if we had taken the test and found problems.  However, I think a lot of doctors would suggest aborting a baby with issues.  I have heard mothers opt to abort their babies with medical issues of deformities and mental issues.  Those couples who refuse to abort are taking thousands of steps towards holiness.

                Today I challenge everyone to pray for our unborn and to pray for those born.  To pray for all women faced with the choice of life or abortion no matter which choice they make.  I also challenge you to help those in need by giving time or treasure.  I think today I will go buy some diapers to begin the collection of baby items that are given during our Lent to Life drive at our church.

                Blessings to you all.

Paula Gambara-Costa

                Our world today is full of disposable items: plastic containers, diapers, and electronics just to name a few.  Many times it is cheaper and definitely easier to just throw things away than taking the time, and energy to fix them.  I cringe when an item breaks at my house because I know I will have to throw it away and buy new.  Unfortunately our relationships are also disposable.

                Marriages end in divorce, family member stop calling, friends quit spending time together because they are bored in the relationship or the other person is boring.  Loyalties are severed due to gossip and other hurtful activities of the “if it feels good I am going to do it mentality.”  How many times do we choose the easy way out of a situation instead of choosing the holy way?

                At the age of twelve, Paula Gambara was forced to marry Count Costa de Benasco in the year 1485.  She became a mother at fifteen.  The Count was of the Hedonism belief that if it felt good he was going to do it.  She supported him even though he treated her like a servant in their own home.  Later in their marriage, he even moved his mistress into their home giving the mistress control of the household.  Paula actually had to follow this woman’s orders.  I know how I would handle this situation and it wouldn’t be pleasant.  Paula however lived her Christian faith.  I would think she had bad days filled with hurt and anger, but she didn’t quit.

                The mistress came down with a deathly illness.  Paula tended to her every need.  When the woman was at death’s door, Paula called her priest to the woman’s bedside.  I am positive without the Holy Spirit’s intersession I would never be that good of a follower of Christ.  Paula’s work didn’t stop here.  Eventually her husband converted.  God rewarded her after this when her husband allowed her to wear the habit of the Franciscan third order.  (This is an order for all people, married, single, young, and old.  I looked it up on the internet and I could become one today.  Interesting thought especially since I have always liked St. Francis of Assisi.)

                Blessed Paula Gambara-Costa is an amazing example of making a successful journey to holiness.  She definitely gives me pause.  I have been proud of my twenty-two year marriage surviving difficulties, but she humbles me because my problems seem so minimal compared to hers.  Also, I know I have not faced the barriers in other relationships in a holy manner.  At times I have bought into the disposable relationship philosophy.

                Blessing to you all.

Self-centeredness

                Yesterday a dear friend asked me a really tough question.  “How can people be so self-centered?”  I proceeded to tell her when I discover that she will be the first I reveal the answer too.  Many people will say it is the society we live in today.  To some extent I agree only I believe it is the society all people live in from the beginning of time.  I finished reading Matthew Kelly’s book Rediscovering Catholicism; plus, Tuesday I went to the first of six DVD seminars given by him.  He talks about how there are three philosophies that most people act on.

                Individualism is the philosophy of what is in it for me.  If a person can’t see any positive outcome for themselves, they just won’t do it.  I tend to think this is the reason there are so few volunteers in the world.  Hedonism states if it feels good do it.  Hum, I have to be honest here.  I love chocolate and tend to consume too much of it because it feels good.  Unfortunately this philosophy can cause addictions, end marriages and other negative outcomes.  Finally, there is the minimalist philosophy, what is the least I can do.  Again, I must confess, I do this with my housecleaning.  I also so this a lot in the work place and I see it in peoples relationships with each other. 

                There are many reasons people become self-centered whether they learn it from a parent or have been hurt so many times they use it as a defense mechanism.  The result is they become very greedy people, greedy with their time, emotions, material goods and the like.  They stop thinking of others and only think of themselves.  Proverbs 15:27 states, “He who is greedy of gain brings ruin on his own house….”  In a word, relationships are hurt or worse destroyed.

                How do we fix self-centered adults?  We don’t.  They have to fix themselves.  If we get angry with them, they become justified.  If we try to help them, we become disappointed.  A wise person once told me not so long ago that it is our ego that thinks we can “fix” them.  They continued with only God can fix them.  All we can do is pray.  But, when people hurt us or our loved ones, we still have those rolling black emotions of anger.

                Saint Francis de Sales says we need to “keep…gentleness and humility in our hearts.”  He continues with “gentleness and humility will avert the burning and swelling which contradiction is apt to excite in our hearts.”    And there is the complication, our hearts.  I can only speak for myself, but I think I am not alone.  When I become angry, the cause is because my heart and most likely ego have been hurt.  My defense is to get angry.  Yet, I know with prayer, gentleness, and humility God will get me through the tough times because we can’t avoid all the self-centered people out there.  But during the first moments of anger and sometimes the first months of anger, I wrestle with being holy in my reactions.  I have learned over the years to try and not speak.  If people bring up topics that insight anger, I listen politely and casually change the subject.  I also try to be busy.  I crochet, cook, or pray during times of difficulty with people I know will cause chaos in life.  This is much better then speaking words in anger because this will never help the situation.

                 Are there any techniques you have to stop the anger when dealing with self-centered people?  I definitely could use some more to help me along the journey.

                Blessings to you all.

Generosity

Proverbs 11:24-25
One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

          In other words, the unselfish person who gives freely will gain blessings from the Lord.  We may not see the blessings, but they are there.  In my younger years, I really struggled with giving.  I could go on for a couple pages the reasons behind my fear of being poor and my hardened heart that other people should help too.  Fortunately for my soul, my husband is generous.  From the beginning of our marriage, he has patiently worked with me in increasing our tithing, giving to the poor and devoting time, talent, and treasure to many causes in our community.  The people we know see us as a couple to be relied on to get things done.  They don’t know my heart and how I don’t come by this naturally.  But we must all work to better ourselves and the lives around us.  Am I a generous person?  Let’s just say, I am a work in progress. 

Blessings to you all.

Letters To Iraq

                In the summer of 2004, my husband shipped out for military training in Texas.  After a few months he went to Louisiana.  We were blessed to have him home in November for about fifteen days on leave.  Right after Thanksgiving he went to Iraq to serve his country in the war.  One woman played a role in his life that to this day still amazes me.

                We had been attending the church out in the valley for about four years.  I had worked for two years on the parish counsel, the boys went to religious education, and we attended some of the social functions.  However, me being a wall flower, I didn’t know many people unless they had kids our children’s age.  My life with Jerry gone was chaos.  I continuously felt guilty for not sending Jerry letters weekly if not daily on how the kids were doing.  I did manage to slip an e-mail note to him while at work, but he only received a letter about once a month. 

One day after church, a woman stopped me at my vehicle as I was leaving.  I recognized her.  Every Sunday she sat in the second row next to a couple of other women her age.  We always said hello, but I didn’t know her name.  She went on to tell me that every week she sent Jerry letters.  She wrote about seeing us at church and how the kids were growing.  She sent different newspaper clippings to keep him informed of things happening in Helena.

                Relief washed over me.  He was getting letters from home.  I thanked her profusely and told her that now I wouldn’t have to worry as much about him receiving enough letters from home.  She wasn’t just helping Jerry; she was helping me as well.  I went straight home and looked her name up in the church directory.  The next time Jerry called we talked about the letters.  He did appreciate them.  The best part is with every letter she sent, I know she prayed for his safety.  Knowing her, she prayed for all of us on the home front as well.

                Since Jerry came home, I have gotten to know her better.  She has a son about the same age as me and she has a couple grandchildren.  She is in charge of the Eucharistic schedule for all the Masses and she runs the 10:30 Mass in making sure we are all set for the ministry.  I am blessed to say she is one of my church moms.  I get hugs from her and we chat about life.  Most of all she has shown me selfless service (a military buzz phrase).  When she heard one of her fellow parishioners was being deployed, she didn’t ask how it would affect her.  She also didn’t pray for a day and move on with life since she didn’t really know the young man.  Instead she asked how it would affect him and what could she do for him.  Then she did it.  She is definitely a great example of making a successful journey to holiness.

                Blessings to you all.

Martin Luther King Jr

                Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day.  Many people have the day off from work and school to celebrate this man’s life.  In high school and college, I learned a little about the man.  His era in history isn’t my favorite, so there are many gaps in my knowledge.  This morning I thought I would close up a few of the gaps.

                In my quick study, I learned that Martin Luther was originally named Michael King Jr. after his father at his birth on January 15, 1929.  At the age of six, his family traveled to Germany.  Soon after the trip, his father changed both his and his sons name to Martin Luther in honor of the protestant reformation leader.  I believe the year was 1959 when an attempt was made on Martin Luther King Jr.’s life.  As he put it in a speech, a demented black woman came up to him during a book signing.  She stabbed him in the chest.  Just a sneeze away, the tip of the knife would have struck his aorta drowning him in his own blood.  Many people wrote to him: the president and the vice president to name a few.  Yet he held dearest a letter from a high school girl who was very glad he didn’t sneeze.  She was a white girl.  I knew Mr. King spoke at many protests, but I didn’t realize he wrote five books.  My must read list is getting bigger every moment.

                Most people have studied or heard parts of the “I Have a Dream” speech.  Today I went out and read “I’ve Been to the Mountaintop.”  He gave the speck on April 3^rd 1968 at the Mason Temple in Memphis, Tennessee.  It would be his last big public address, for he was assassinated the next day.  While reading his speech, I highlighted many paragraphs.  I loved his writing and the intertwining of Biblical passages that he put in the text.  One story he took from the Bible struck me as a way to continue my journey to holiness.

                He begins the idea with this statement, “Let us develop a kind of dangerous unselfishness.”  Then Mr. King goes on to talk about the story of the Good Samaritan that Jesus told.  Many of you know the story about how a man was stuck by thieves and laying on the road between Jerusalem and Jericho.  This road was very dangerous with its twists and turns and steep grade.  I imagine it to be much like the Going to the Sun highway in Glacier Park only with bandits and thieves.  Well, a priest and a Levite rode right past the man and didn’t stop to help.  Instead, a Samaritan stopped to administer aid to the man.  Mr. King describes the Samaritan as “a man of another race.”  I have also been told Samaritans were looked down by the people of Jesus’ time and they would have been shocked to hear of one being spoken of as doing such a good act.

                Mr. King challenges the people of Memphis to quit asking the question that the priest and the Levite probably asked.  “If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?”  He continues to challenge them by asking the question the Samaritan must have asked.  “If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?”  Instead of worrying about the me of a situation, we should worry about the he or she.  We need to stop being selfish.  Martin Luther King Jr. did just that.  His life work was to help people to be free even if it meant giving up his life.  Now, I don’t believe we need to be martyrs to successfully finish our journey to holiness, but we do need to not be selfish.

                I challenge you, develop your dangerous unselfishness.

                Blessing to you all.

Well Pleased

                This past Sunday, the Gospel reading was when John the Baptist baptized Jesus.  After this happened, the Holy Spirit came down from Heaven in the form of a white dove.  God said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” Matthew 4:17.    I have heard and read this passage numerous times throughout my life.  What struck me is what Father said in the homily.

                Of course, my memory is never good enough to quote someone.  In fact, listening to what he said, I wished I had my small backpack to pull out my notebook.  I should take notes during church.  Anyway, Father asked if we believed God said this about us when we were baptized.  As a baby I was baptized in the Lutheran church which I never attended afterwards unless with my dear aunt on my father’s side.  As a teenager, I was baptized again.  So Father was asking me, do I believe once I was baptized did God say, “This is my beloved daughter, with whom I am well pleased.”?  Wow, this small section of the Bible is going to hold a lot more meaning to me!

                I do believe God was pleased with me at both my baptisms.  How could he not?  I was a wee babe at the first one.  Babies are a blessing from God, so He is always pleased with them.  At my second baptism, I do believe He again was well pleased.  I was a faith filled young adult following His teachings.  The question is now, is He still pleased with me?

                Is it egotistical of myself to believe He still is?  I don’t think I am all that egotistical and I do think He is pleased with me.  Why?  It definitely isn’t because of my negative thoughts, harsh judgments of others, or my failure to do right 24/7.  He is pleased with me because He is a loving father.  Also, He watches me try to be holy.  He has picked me up when I fall; he has stood back to let me fall.  Good fathers do that for their children.  I am sure he chuckles at some of the things I do.  He is sure to shake his head at this blog.  “Well, she doesn’t have it quite right, but she is trying.”

                So, is there anything he is well pleased with me this week?  I have tried to stay positive even when my health has been difficult.  He loved watching me interact with my beautiful children that He has lent to me.  He smiled when my son and I stopped to help a lady our of a snow bank.  He had his angels finish my nightly prayers after I drifted asleep.  He guides me in my studies.  I tell you, I am feeling pretty loved right now.

                How about you?  Is God well pleased with you?  I believe He is.

                Blessings to you all.