Book Review: Hillbilly Elegy

This past week, I began thinking of memoir, again.  I write so many words of non-fiction that I just feel that I could add page numbers and publish.  Then I go out and look for a reading project.  If I want to write memoir, I should be reading memoir.  I found the book Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance.  I was riveted.  He talked about a life that paralleled mine in so many ways; yet, in other ways his story looked so different, leaving me feeling very thankful.

Growing up in Northwestern Montana, no one would call me a hillbilly, but redneck is definitely a term that I refer to as my background.  I am proud of my redneck nature as J.D. is proud of his hillbilly background.  We both came from poor working-class.  We were both blessed with people who loved us, supported us, and mentored us in seeing a different life.  Neither of us had family to help guide us through college.  After high school, he joined the military.  I was a little slower and joined a few years after high school.  We both worked multiple jobs to get through school.  Yes, I felt a kinship with J.D.

Our differences were fewer but bigger.  His mother was addicted to drugs and made his home life hell.  Many times, he stayed with his grandparents.  Sure, my mother caused some episodes at home.  But I never feared going home.  His only father figure was his grandfather.  His mother had many men in her life that tried to be a father to him, but they were never around for long.  I had my dad.  He was there all the time and kept life stable for me.  My immediate home life made all the difference where it was his grandparents’ home that helped make a difference for him.

The culture we came from was good at its core.  However, the influence of drugs, helplessness, hopelessness, and dysfunction with the background of dying industry creates a loss of the American Dream when the culture turns to blaming others.  I was fortunate to not have the negatives in my life.  My dad pushed me out the door towards a different life that didn’t rely on a dying industry.  He also instilled in my a very strong hard work ethic.

When it comes to our problems with aspects of the poor, the government can help, but it can’t fix the problems.  We make the choices, we create the problems, only we can fix the problems.  I saw truth near the end of the book.

“I don’t know what the answer is, precisely, but I know it starts when we stop blaming Obama or Bush or faceless companies and ask ourselves what we can do to make things better.” page 256.

Through the entire book, J.D. never made excuses for the state of his life to just give up.  He could have.  He would have if not for the good influences in his life.  Through hard work, he made the American Dream possible.  I made my own American Dream by working hard.  Most people I know have created their American Dream.  None have done this task without support from family, friends, teachers, faith family, and/or mentors.  Most of us worked hard.

I hear in the news that college is impossible.  No, it isn’t. I will agree that it is hard.  I worked three jobs while I went to school fulltime while being a wife and mother.  That was in the early 90’s.  My son is doing college differently.  He is attending part-time while working one job.  That works too.  He is paying everything on his own.

The American Dream is still attainable.