Hip Replacement

In life, stressful times demand a person to hunker down in their bunker.  Okay, this person, I need to hunker down in my bunker and ignore everything but the task at hand.  I did this when my husband deployed to Iraq about fifteen years ago.  I cut everything (some people included) out of my life that wasn’t essential.  Hum, that sounds like the state of affairs right now.  I don’t like that.  Anyway, I think I have probably done this at other times.  I cope this way.  When I don’t cut things from my life, I get ugly.  How?  I will get into that on a later post.

Luckily with the hip replacement, I knew from the beginning I needed to cut thing out of my life.  I couldn’t move.  Pain flowed through my body with my RA drugs out of my system.  I cut all but the essentials.  And in some ways, the whole process went wonderfully.

The day of the surgery went splendid.  My medical team rocked everything.  My recovery nurse worried about my heart rate and kept me longer.  He told me it went down to 40 beats per minute and my blood pressure went down as well.  When I found out his concern, I told him I normally have low of both.  At that point, I think I was up to 50, so he sent me upstairs.

I went for a walk the first day.  What fun that was!  Really, I was so excited.  I wanted to be running, well in my head.  My body definitely told me to go slow.  I did my stretches.  The next day, I did stairs at the hospital and at home.  I was well on my way.  My sister took care of me along with Jerry and Madelle once I got home.  Cookies appeared, and I had a couple visitors.

At about three weeks, things went bad for about five days.  For some bizarre reason, my fibromyalgia and RA went into remission, so I decided not to take my meds for a while and see what happens.  Yes, the doctor knew what I was up to.  The pain in my leg where they must have moved muscles and reattached them and such was the worst pain I think I have every felt.  Normally, I take a pain pill and wait eight to ten hours before taking the next instead of just the six hours that are prescribed.  With this pain, I took my meds on the minute it was time.  I felt I was taking them like candy.  Finally, I realized what was probably wrong.  I went back on both my RA meds.  Sure enough, within about three to five days, the pain was manageable again.  Thank goodness.

I believe the RA is making my recovery take longer.  I am going crazy to get back to 100% (RA percentages).  I am not there.  Driving can still be difficult.  I feel like my hip is too big for my body when I over do it.  Thus, sitting can be uncomfortable especially when driving.  Not fun.  I drove to Wheat, Montana the other day.  That was it.  Jerry had to get us back home.  I hate that.  I feel so trapped if I can’t drive for hours on end.

Slowly, I am starting to get the house back in a little bit of an order and cleaner.  Still not great.  I work for about 20 minutes and have to stop.  If I actually go for 40+ minutes, I don’t feel so great.  I miss the days of cleaning for a couple of hours.  And don’t get me started on gardening.  Yes, I have been out doing a little bit of work.  I do a little weeding for a few minutes.  I actually did a little trimming Tuesday.  My goal is for everything to look better by the 4th of July.  Fingers crossed.

I am walking again.  Not as much as I hoped for at this point.  Story of my life.  On Sunday, I actually went on a hike at Fort Rock by Three Forks.  I climbed the hill, almost stepped on a snake, and slowly made my way back down the hill.  I loved it.  I also walked Monday and Tuesday.  I am finally getting more than 900 steps!!!

Today, I skipped the walk.  I needed a bit of a rest.  When my hip feels three times larger than normal, I know resting is in order.  My gardens called for me though.  Soon babies, I will spend more time with you.

Missouri Headwaters

Offline

In January, I added to my to do list by increasing my fiction words by 10,000.  I did this so I could be ahead of schedule for my surgery in March.  In February, my goal was to write the normal 20,000.  This way I would finish up my next challenge book and have a good start on the last challenge book.  I made the 30,000 words.  February was a huge struggle.  I think I broke myself.

A few weeks ago, I hurt almost twice as much as normal.  My energy depleted.  I rode the wave like I always do, but something felt different.  I felt burnt out.  Now, I felt this way in December.  When we got home from our trip, I did feel better; however, I felt a little shaky in the writing department.  Like just getting over a sickness and still weak.  I tried not to panic.  I rested all week.

Even with a week, I knew the rest wasn’t enough.  I needed to change something and quick.  I talked with Clay, Madelle, and Jerry.  I talked to myself.  I googled writer’s burnout.  I know it isn’t writer’s block.  Unfortunately, I was doing everything that they say to do.  I kept looking.  Finally, I read an article that got me to thinking.  My spreadsheet at the moment is killing my writing.  All the things on my to do list while in pain just isn’t possible for the time being.  Also, I hate my writing room.  It feels like a prison.

One Saturday I stayed out of the room and away from my computer.  I goofed around on my laptop.  Jerry asked for 500 words.  I wrote 1,000 and the morning pages.  I opened my laptop intending 500 words only for the next few days.

Then, I started to feel a little stronger.  I thought maybe I was on the other side. I went into the room and started my computer.  Instant stress.  Wow, I was still broken.  I uploaded my new words and closed out of my writing files.  I paid my bills and turned off the computer.  Later, I went to my laptop and wrote 1,000 words.

From here until the end of March, I am officially on a new schedule.  My February to do list consisted of 5,000 words, editing 28 chapters, creating a book cover, loading it to Amazon, and sending it to Dean.  That was it.  Nothing more.

March, all I have on the list is to write 20,000.  Nothing else.  If I feel inspired, I will do a blog post.  But really, that is going to be it.  I just can’t do all the minutes, editing book 5 of the Tenet series, three blog posts a week, and on and on.  The novel challenge is the only thing on my list.

Writing this, I wonder if it is still a lot.  I am not sure. Time will tell.  But alas, I hope to be back in April, rested and no longer burnt out.  I will try to let you all know how the surgery went on Facebook.  Oh, and I would really appreciate prayers for the next couple of months.  I am nervous but also excited. Until then, blessings.

Call Me What I Am

Shaking my head, I realize that I need to go back into my writing room and stop reading articles.  Wow, this Super Bowl halftime stuff is hilarious.  Yes, I saw the show.  Now, facebook has gone crazy with a ton of articles.  I have read one or two.  I don’t remember whose timeline I was on, so I can’t quote the articles, but one of them states that those who didn’t like the halftime show are racist.  Seriously?  They talked about all the ethnic representation done with the dancing.  To prove I am not racist, I have to claim I liked the show.  Not going to happen.

I didn’t like the show.  I am not racist.  You can call me that if you like, but it doesn’t make it true.  I am sure there are those out in the world that hated the show because they are racist.  Unfortunately, racists do exist.  But to say if a person didn’t like the show means they are racist is pathetic.

Years ago, my husband and I went to Ensenada, Mexico.  While there for the day, we went to a Mexican festival.  The dancing and music was phenomenal.  I loved how the beautiful women used their long, flared-out, brightly colored skirts as part of the dance.  I don’t think I have ever seen anything so beautiful.  When I saw similar dance steps at the halftime show, I thought of the potential to make the message great.  Instead, I was saddened at how such beautiful cultural dances were sexualized.

I am sorry I didn’t like looking at JLo’s crotch.  Distasteful.  Does this make me a racist?  No!  Prudish?  Undoubtedly.  I am okay with being called a prude, old-fashioned, and modest.  And I don't care how much you explain a pole away, I will always see a stripper attached to it when wearing little clothing and making those types of moves.  These are the reasons I didn’t like the halftime show.  I think crotches and poles should be left at the strip clubs or the bedroom, not during a halftime show.

So come on people.  Call me what I really am.

I wrote this the day after the Super Bowl.  I wanted to put other things on my blog first, so I continued to see things about show.  At first, I thought about whether I should be offended by one meme.  Instead, I laughed like crazy when one of my friends put a meme on her timeline about how next year's halftime show would be put on by an Amish choir.  Now, that is funny.  I still would prefer the Mexican dresses.

A friend of my daughter's posted a meme of the Olympics uniforms for volleyball and gymnastic.  This gave me pause.  Maybe I should have liked halftime.  Then I realized, no.  I really don't like those uniforms either.  Yes, I am prudish.

And you know, I am okay with being prudish.  I am okay with people liking the show at halftime.  I am no more racist because I didn't like the show as my friends are sluts for liking the show.  I will call this whole thing what it really is.  A difference of opinion.  Wow, what a concept.

Enjoying Winter: Excited

The last week found me very busy enjoying winter.  Really, I can't call what the Helena Valley is doing with winter.  I have no snow on the property at all.  Most days, the weather has been above thirty degrees and sunny.  Beautiful.  If my hip wasn't a mess, I would be outside playing in the yard.  Yes, it is that gorgeous here.

Saturday, I drug my husband out to a craft/antique fair at the Civic Center.  I was so surprised when he saw an old cabinet for a record player that he liked.  They had turned it into a mini bar.  Well, they also had an old radio cabinet turned mini bar as well.  I liked the radio better, but the record player worked better.  I let him decide.  We came home with the record player.

We stopped and chatted with Nikki Gulick from Augusta who owns Iron Horse Metal Art.  What a delightful young lady!  She was great a putting up with me.  I talked with her for about fifteen minutes.  I have ordered a piece of art that I have technically been waiting for the last nineteen and a half years.  I will explain the project more when I get the art.  Needless to say, I am very excited.

Next, I drug Jerry to an antique store.  I spotted a handle on the wall, but most of the rest of the amazing piece was behind a bookcase.  Jerry helped me.  The saw is gorgeous, and I picked it up for a minute $27.00.  What a find.  In fact, I am debating sending it to Augusta to have Richard cut into the blade.  We will see.  But I do love it.

Of course, on Sunday, we enjoyed parts of the Super Bowl.  I was disappointed in my teams play the second half.  I also didn't care for most of the halftime show.  I did enjoy seeing old friends.  And bonus, I won the first quarter pool of $400.00.  Yay!!!  I am going to get outdoor lighting later in the spring.  I am pretty excited for that as well.

Monday, Madelle and I went for a walk at the lake.  I can't walk far, but it was so nice to be outside.  We are going to continue to try this.  Once I am released to do walking after the surgery, she has agreed to walk with me to help in the rehab.  Yep, I am excited.  I think this is the theme for today's post.

All in all, I enjoyed this last week of winter.  We are supposed to be getting a storm in the next two days.  Stay tuned on how much I enjoy this next week.  It could be entertaining.

Joy to the World

"If the Lord is our joy, our joy cannot be taken away.  It cannot be lost." Scott Hahn, Joy to the World, pg. 155.

The quote jumped out at me over the weekend as I finished my reading for this weeks study group.  I loved the quote and the entire chapter that was devoted to joy.  My days are filled with an abundance of joy.  God has given me so much.  I have wonderful friends and family.  I have the best husband for me.  My faith is strong.

Now, I do have challenges.  I am in pain a good amount of time.  Normally, I ignore the aches and pains from my autoimmune diseases.  My hip is bone on bone.  Ouch.  But I get a new one next month which will be amazing.  With these challenges, I might have a down day now and then, but being retired, I know how fortunate I am.  I can rest and all is well.

But lets face it, life is tough.  Today, I am struggling.  Not from the pain or fatigue, but from the struggles of some of my family.  My daughter is not doing well with the negativity she is feeling at school.  I am worried about her.  I have a family member in the hospital that concerns me.  These are some big stressors that I have no control over.  I could let myself slip into despair; yet, I find myself staying joyful through a little work.

I stay strong in the Lord.  Today, I have prayed to surrender my pain both physically and emotionally.  I give thanks for what is in my life.  One, I woke up.  Two, the sun is shining.  Three, I spent time with three delightful ladies at the church this morning.  I keep myself busy with tasks to fill my day like writing.  I will do a little housework.  I will watch for the birds who eat outside my window. I will look at beautiful flower photos.  These are the things God has given me to keep the joy in my life.

Writing Update

     At almost the last hour of the month, I wrote the last hundred words that I needed to hit my 30,000 word goal for my fifth novel.  Wow, I was beginning to doubt I would make the count.  Now, going into next month, I only have 10,000 to write to finish the book and get it to Dean.  I will write another 10,000 to be that much ahead for the final book.  I will then be able to take a few weeks off to recuperate from surgery.  I am very happy about all of this.  Watch out finish line, here I come.

Winter Activity: Making Sausage

For the last few years, we have been making homemade sausage.  Jerry is getting really good at the process.  The recipe he has tweaked is delicious.  I help when the meat is loaded into the casings.  We have become a pretty good team with this task.

Our first batch for the season turned out pretty good.  We worked on it all day.  Most of it will go to our son's roommate.  He wanted some made out of a deer he shot.  Good stuff.  The best part is knowing what you have in the freezer is done with good ingredients.