Making Plans

                “You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.”  Proverbs 19:21

I love this proverb.  Why?  It tells me nothing new.  I have always known the plans of man can be detoured for God’s plans to unfold instead.  My entire life has been filled with me planning my future only to have God change what takes place.

                When I started college, I planned to study hard, have fun dating, and graduate in five years.  God chuckled at me.  He sent my future husband into my life in the first three days and drained my bank account.  I dropped out after the second quarter and married the next year.  I joined the military, had two babies, and graduated in eight years.  God’s plan!

                My life contains many more examples of my planning and God changing.  Should I stop planning?  Should I throw up my hands in defeat and tell God, “Oh, just take over?”  I say no to both questions.  God made us independent with free choice.  He planted hopes and dreams into our souls to nourish.  Planning gives flight to these dreams.  A path unfolds in front of us like a red carpet.  God does want us to give up in defeat.  He wants us striving forward by being invigorated by the planning process.  I also don’t think He wants to take over.  So what do I take from this verse?

                God desires a relationship with us.  When we make plans, discuss them with Him.  Tweak the timeline when problems or opportunities are standing in front of you.  Simply be open for God’s involvement.

                About ten years ago, I planned to retire from the military with 25 years of service with no debt and the house paid off.  My husband and I agreed to the plan.  We prayed.  At year 18, my health started to decline.  I barely made it to work at 19 years, spending off time in bed or dragging myself to kid activities.  Finally the plan had to be changed.  I had to quit working.  I retired at 20 years with the house being our only debt.  We didn’t fail.  We tweaked with God’s help.

                The best part, God has blessed us beyond all comprehension.  I am writing, gardening, and am happy.  The kids love me being home and spending time together.  Everyone loves the fresh produce, especially the strawberries.  Our plan is now to have the house paid off in the next eight years.  I plan to be making money on sales from my short stories and novels. 

                Will I succeed?  Maybe.  Will I fail?  Heavens no.  I will have God’s plan filling in the details.  With Him by my side, there is only success in my future.  So go out and plan.

 

The Magic Closet

            I am feeling a bit nostalgic tonight.  My ten-year-old daughter lay on the floor reading the book she checked out this afternoon at the county library.  The scene transported me back to a different time and place when I was ten.

            The year was 1978.  My favorite part of the summer was spending every other week on my uncle’s little farm off Highway 57.  My father worked for the company in town.  Instead of “commuting” every night back to our hometown 56 miles north, he stayed in the cabin next to his brother’s house.  I cooked dinners for him during my weeks at the cabin and cleaned.  I spent my free time tagging along behind my older cousins going to movies, horseback riding, doing chores, and going to the bar for soda pop.  I really think no kid on Earth had better summers then I.

            In the house resided a magic closet.  Walking down the hallway, I would pass the bathroom, Worth’s room and Crystal’s room.  Family photos lined the walls.  Shag carpet silenced my footsteps.  At the end of the hall stood three doors.  To the right, the door opened to my aunt and uncle’s room.  I loved going into the room to the left.  Cath and Carol, whom I idolized, shared this room.  The bright deep purple walls helped shape my love for color I am sure.

            Stepping across the threshold of the middle door transported me into a magical world.  Now this compares to the magic tree house, but alas it doesn’t compare to the amour in the Narnia series, but for a small town Montana girl, I felt I found heaven.

            Walking into the closed, I turned on the overhead light.  All three walls held numerous shelves from the floor to the ceiling all lined with books.  I spent hours perusing the titles.  Many times my cousins suggested books like The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton.  I read for hours.

            Today books clutter my house.  I have sold books, given them away, and stored them in the shed and garage.  A couple of years ago my husband gave me a Kindle for Christmas.  I love that I am not storing more books; plus, I can take hundreds of books with me weighing less then a pound.

            Yet, I am saddened.  Will magic closets exist in the future?  I believe when my daughter leaves home, I will turn one of the extra bedrooms into a magic room.  I want my grandchildren to have such an experience.  Of course, hopefully they love to read.

Simple

                My morning started very rough.  Either the fibromyalgia or the rheumatoid arthritis was causing my body to ache.  My energy level with a scale of 1 to 10 stood at about -2.  I trudged to the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee.  I decided to go out on the patio to do my daily Bible reading hoping the cool morning air would revive me.  God sat with me for a time.  The music of the birds played in the background.  I knew I may not conquer the day, but I would make it to church.

                As is Father’s style, three points were pulled from the readings.  I loved the first point of simple faith.  As humans, we try to complicate everything when really we are called to just love.  The first part of the Gospel reading states, “’You shall love the Lord, you God, with all you heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself’” Luke 10:27.  Loving God is very simple.  Loving my neighbor?  The concept is very simple; yet, I find it hard in practice.  I tend to not even be good at loving myself.  I complicate the love.  I put rules into the equation.  Instead, I need to simplify.

                I want to deviate a bit here from the Mass.  In my daily reading yesterday, I came across a passage that warmed my heart.  In Paul’s letter to the Romans he writes, “I’m eager to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.  In this way, each of us will be a blessing to the other” Romans 1:12.  Again, simple!  In our loving each other, we need to also encourage each other in our faith.  I knew when reading the passage I would be encouraged when I went to Mass.  And I was.  Hopefully I encouraged others as well. 

                The second point I took from Father’s homily was simple charity.  We shouldn’t wait for the big stuff.  We shouldn’t think we have to have money to make a difference.  Simply apply our love to our neighbor.  As I mentioned, I had no energy and my wrist felt like fire kept coursing through it.  Pain shot through my knee.  Two friends gave me comforting hugs, simple charity.  They knew I was struggling and helped me in my stress.  I received other hugs and kind words.  Yes, we are to step out of our comfort zone and help those less fortunate, but we can’t forget those around us.  Giving charity to each other encourages.

                Simple sight is the final point.  Our daily lives become so weighed down with negatives.  For me, I struggle with chronic pain.  I want God to fix it.  I ask Him to take away the pain.  Eventually He does, but not when I want it done.  I could easily only see Him when the pain leaves.  I could only look for Him in the sky or across the sea, Deuteronomy 30:10-14.  Instead, I need to look all around me.  I see Him in the flowers that bloom in my gardens.  I hear him in the twitter of the birds or the buzz of the bees.  I saw Him on the altar as my son stood next to his babysitter of years ago.  She took care of him after school, now they minister together through the Eucharist.   God is right there.  Don’t look past Him.

                Blessing to you all.

The IRS and My Front Yard

                Over graduation weekend, we received a lovely little notice from the IRS regarding a prior tax year.  Without going into detail, our summer is going to entail giving them money and tightening our belts quite a bit.  All gardening, patio, and longer trips have been put on standstill.  For about the last year, every time we turn around our finances keep taking a hit.  Frustration has set in not because we have to cut back in spending per say, but in that some dreams are being put on hold, again.

                For me, it means postponing a trip to Europe.  I have dreamed of traveling to Europe for the last 20 plus years.  I am also trying to establish my writing career.  In the next couple of months, I would like to independently publish a few of my short stories.  How am I going to afford the cover art?  I would like to attend a writer’s conference.  Also, I have been in need of a new laptop.  Mine died about a year ago.

                Alas, the laptop will wait.  I have a perfectly workable computer that I can share with my hubby and kids.  If I get up at six, I have a good four hours before any of them are clamoring for a turn.  They are also very supportive and willingly relinquish their time if I have a pressing task.  I will attend the local conference which is more affordable than the one in Seattle.  I am researching cover art and more affordable ways of getting that accomplished.  Italy isn’t going anywhere.  I will get there in God’s time.

                As for the other items, new outdoor furniture, new flooring, traveling out of state and patio building material can all wait for a later date.  I have plenty of projects I can do around the yard that will just take hard work, no money.  I am traveling a bit to the normal destinations of the Kootenai forest and other local areas.  I have plenty of places I haven’t explored in our region that only cost a tank of gas. 

My summer verses that I will meditate on come from Psalms 119:36-37.  “Give me an eagerness for your decrees; Do not inflict me with love for money!  Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word.”  Thus, I will continue to read from the Bible.  I will look for the blessings God gives me daily.  So, with all that in mind, I went on a free artist date last week and want to share what I found.  I spent time in my front yard.  Later this week, I will take another artist date in my backyard.  God is so very good.

 

I found this idea on the internet.  This fall I will try to clean the dirt stain to make it more appealing.  Also, I think more flowers should be planted next year, but I still love my first attempt.

 

 

Here is a treasure I picked up when I went fishing with my dad a couple of years ago.  I think of him each time I walk by to get into my pickup.



 

After years of struggling, this section of garden is looking really good.  I love the little house.  When I walk by it, I always look for fairies to greet me.

 

Gardening for me is always an experiment.  I buy plants on a whim.  The next year, I never know what will come up.  This is one such plant.  I love the surprise of what will show up next.

 

Before the IRS notice, I bought this new pot and filled in this new section of garden.  I love anticipating how the new plants will grow.

 

Here is my beautiful statue of St. Francis among the lilies in the background and coral bells in the forefront.

My husband's favorite, the Bridal's Wreath.  This greets all our visits when they come to our home.  Every year, it seems to get more beautiful.

 

 



I started the turtle garden for my daughter a couple of years ago.  I added an internet idea of the tires this spring.  I still have to add flowers which I fortunately have a gift card that I will use.  I may add a photo later this year if it fills in better.

 

 



I hope you enjoyed a little tour of my front yard along with the little story of my experience with the IRS.

              Blessings to you all.

Happiness in Creation

             The past month, I have so busy preparing the house and yard for our son’s high school graduation party.  Digging, planting, mowing, cleaning, baking and all those chores kept me from writing.  Going through my photos, I realize I have also been busy attending softball games, a concert, and a dinner hosted by the second year culinary students at the tech (my oldest son being one of the students).  During this time my birthday came and went.  For the day, I gifted myself a walk up a mountain on the edge of town and spent some time with God.  I meant to share pictures, but never found the time.  Last night as I read myself to sleep, I highlighted this passage from Angels Watching Over, by Michael Phillips.

Some folks think praying happens only when you’re in church or are actually talking to God.  But I’m not so sure.  I think that when you’re feeling the silent mysteries of the world, and feeling the tunes that God put into it for us to listen to, and when you let His creation make you happy, then that’s a kind of praying too.  Page 10, Location 330, 8%

The author's words reminded me of my time on the mountain; however, I think I will add to his ideas of prayer in that spending time with our loved ones during their activities is also a form talking with God.  The past month, I have been praying continuously in reveling in the beauty of God’s creations.

                                           Enjoying God's creation on my birthday.

Celebrating a promotion!

 

My son, the soon to be Chef.

 

                                                My other son, his last high school concert.

My daughter, playing softball.

 

Graduation Day

                                       
               Yes, May was a very busy month.  I haven't even had the time to take pictures of my gardens.  Maybe that will be my next post.  In the meantime, I am one very happy wife and mom enjoying all the creations around me.  Thank you God!!!
               Blessings to you all.

 

Not the World's Peace

My priest is an amazing speaker.  He usually works with three points during the homily.  This focuses me, giving something a little more concrete to walk out of the church with to hold onto during the week.  I don’t always leave with a great desire to write about the points.  In fact, with all the writing and editing I have been doing with my fiction work, I have neglected my blog.  But this weekend, I walked away wanting to share.  From the gospel reading, Father talked about the three promises we receive from Jesus. 

Jesus tells us in John 14:23 that “Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make a dwelling with him.”  Jesus and God dwell within me because I love them.  Now, I don’t always keep their word, but I try.  And when I go for communion, I draw closer to them which helps me through my week.  I love this relationship we have that does take work, but I know they are always in my corner.

The next promise made me want to jump from my seat and ask Father some questions.  “The Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you,” verse 26.  How is the Spirit teaching me?  How do I hear the Spirit?  Of course, sitting here writing all of that, I think I have some of the answers.  The Holy Spirit comes to us through the written words of the Bible.  I also believe the Spirit can touch our hearts and teach us through the writings of other people, art, history, music, and discussion.  We have to be aware of Satan also using these vehicles, so we must discern all we take into our hearts.  Basically, we have to be open to the Spirit and He will teach us.

Father reflected on the third promise through most of his homily.  I appreciated this because this week I thought of this idea a bit.  Verse 27 states, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  Not as the world gives do I give it to you, Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.”  The world talks of peace from war, the peace of health, and the peace of wealth.  Jesus doesn’t promise this type of peace.  Humankind will always have their agenda which many times is influenced by Satan.  Thus, I truly believe we will never see a peace in the world’s terms. 

Jesus’ peace is completely different.  He gives the peace of serenity.  While the world is spinning out of control, we can have the peace of our Father in heaven bringing tranquility into our souls.  He gives us the peace of endurance.  We will always have problems of health and finances.  Difficult people will try to invade our lives bringing drama and chaos.  However, the Trinity (God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit) will reside by our side giving us stamina to walk through the tough times.  We can remain at peace, Jesus’ peace.

A friend reached out to me this past week.  She is going through a nightmare of physical pain.  She believes she may have fibromyalgia and asked me to share my experience with her.  She commented that she had a very hard time “wrapping her head” around living a life of pain.  Like me in the old days, she lives a very active life.  Due to her health, she may no longer be able to be that active.  She may have lost the world’s peace of a healthy lifestyle.  However, I know if she is open to God’s peace she will have endurance and serenity, maybe not daily because poor health in the form of autoimmune diseases is a hard journey.  Yet, yesterday, I hiked up a mountain and prayed for her.  I have great confidence she will be a successful in the days to come.

Without loving God and listening for the Holy Spirit, we will not obtain God’s gifts.  But if we love Him, follow His word, and listen, we will find the peace of Jesus.

Blessings to you all.

My Cross: Body Image

                I love the beach and ocean more than all other landscapes that I have been fortunate enough to gaze upon.  What amazes me about this is how my self-esteem about my body image is changed.  I have hated my body since I entered the second grade.  Yes, second grade.  It is the biggest part of my cross that I bear.    In those younger years, I wore extra clothing to cover myself.  After many years of struggling with my weight with the military and gaining weight dealing with medical issues, I still hate my body.  While in Cancun, my image began to change.

                The motel we stayed in for a week displayed an art form I have never seen except in photos of medieval artwork and prior.  Of course, I am not an expert in art.  But the images celebrated real women.  In the restaurants, hallways, lounge, and even our room, the artwork displayed older women; mothers and grandmothers.  Not one woman in the artwork displayed anything less than voluptuous curves.  Being surrounded with wall hangings like me added layers of new self-esteem to my psyche.

                On the beach and around the pool, real women celebrated life.  They wore swimsuits and didn’t try to blend into trees.  Of course, model like women also cluttered the area, but they didn’t intimidate me as much.  I swam in the ocean and the pool not worrying how bad I looked.  My body carried three beautiful babies and now battles aches and pains I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy or the two skinny bikini women in the elevator.

                Once back in the states, I didn’t think much of body image.  Traveling all day left me tired.  The first day home, I became very sick and lay in bed for about 24 hours.  We drove to a local resort that caters to downhill skiers and water people for a conference.  There are two huge pools and two hot tubs.  All the self-esteem I gained through the culture of Mexico melted away in the swimming pool.  The rest of the weekend I tried melting into the wallpaper. 

                All of us have crosses to bear.  Mine is body image.  Lately, I find wrinkles and grey hair is adding to the problems.  Getting older in the American Society is hard.  I do pray and work at remembering God loves me.  He molded me.  However, I am ready to move to Mexico next to the beach!

 

In the Hallway

 

 

In the Lounge

 

 

In Our Room

 

                Blessings to you all.