Day Eight: Risks vs. Safety Net

Most definitely, I prefer a safety net over taking risks.  The other day, I talked about my issues with being around people.  I hate going to social events by myself. When Jerry was in Iraq, I skipped a lot of functions.  He has always been my safety net. Going to everything by myself for 17 months was painful. After the first six months, I started picking and choosing what I went to on the social side of life.

Financially, I also need a safety net.  My husband wants to go into the food business when he retires from the military.  I am like a cat with my back arched and hair standing straight up. I have to keep myself peeled off the ceiling when he talks about the project.  I feel so guilty because he is sooo supportive of my writing en devour. The difference is investment. For me it is mainly time. His is money. This scares me to death.

Thankfully, I have taken risks in my life.  I took a risk joining the National Guard by going off to BASIC training after a year of marriage.  The statistics of marriages lasting through this life change are not in the marriages favor. But we did it.  I took a risk leaving Jerry and Michel to finish my degree in Billings while they lived in Wolf Point. By the end of the year and a half, I could almost drive that route in my sleep!!!  Deployments are also a risk, not that we had a choice. But with both of us in the military, we lived risk and survived.

Writing is a risk.  I expose myself to all sorts of critics.  This trip is a huge risk. I am rubbing elbows with professional writers who are so ahead of me in the profession it blows my mind.  In fact, I am a beginning amateur/hobbyist. I have to up my game in a major way to continue to rub elbows with these amazing writers.  My stomach has been in knots almost this entire workshop. Yesterday, my mind began exploding at some of the financial and legal areas they discussed.  At one point, I thought I might not want to continue this journey. I will share more about that in the days to come. I don’t have one scrap of safety net.  Oh, my!

Day Seven: Bring on Monday

Every Monday morning, I open Facebook to see what has been happening in my friends and families life since the last time I checked in to the social platform.  I slide past all the political posts and frankly a lot of the religious posts. I want to see the personal stuff. Anything with a lot of reading or video, I ignore.  My writing is waiting for me. I only have about ten minutes that I will spend, so my attention has to be caught by a interesting turn of phrase, a beautiful picture, or something real, family pictures or personal events.  A lot of Mondays, I see something about how horrible that another Monday has taken the world by storm.

I laugh.

I love Mondays.  Sunday is probably my favorite day because I go to Mass, watch football (well, during the season), and hang out with family.  However, I look forward to Monday every week. I get up at five in the morning. Once Jerry goes to work, I open my computer, sip coffee, and begin my day of writing.  After taking the daughter to school and walking with my partner in crime, a quiet peace blankets the house. My morning pages are done. Now, I get to work on something creative.  I might work on a book cover, an outline, free write, let my characters play, or loop through to clean up a first draft of a scene. Today, I get to learn a mountain of information about the profession of writing. Bring on Monday!!!

Day Six: Lies

Name one thing you have lied to yourself about.  Why did you do this?

Hum, some of these writing prompts are a bit personal for blog posts.  I can think of a number of lies I tell myself that I don’t want the general public to know.  However, being here at this workshop I am finding quit a few lies in this area of my life.

First, I keep telling myself it is okay to be an introvert.  I don’t need to network. I can work from home and never interact with other people.  This is much like when I was a kid and told myself it was no big deal if I wasn’t popular.  Well, networking, knowing people, “popularity,” can be very important. And frankly, I suck at it.

Second, the business side of writing can wait is another lie I tell.  I can finish my first series and start all that stuff later. These two related lies have been my mantra for the last three years.  In reality, I really need an internet presence. I need to get a website up and running. I tried to about four years ago. I had some problems that I couldn’t find answers to.  When my daughter started struggling emotionally, I dropped the website. Last year, I flat out procrastinated and lied to myself. This year, I need to get it done.

Why do I tell myself these lies?  Simple, fear. People make me uncomfortable.  I am afraid of being ignored, rejected, and trivialized.  Instead, I put on a cloak of selfassurance. I have a lot of people fooled.  As for the business side, I fear failure and success. If all I do is write, I can feel I am moving forward with out the stress of the unknown.

Will I succeed in fixing my lies?   The first one is such a struggle. But, I will push myself to try to talk to people and not just listen.  I know I will have a list a mile long of things I can do to grow my writing business after this workshop. First, I will conquer the website.  After that, who knows. I will not tell myself the lies. However, I will also recognize my limits and not beat myself up for going slow with people and business.

Day Five: Faith

What is your favorite work of art?  What do you love about it?

"Favorite" piece of art?  Hello, I just went to the Louvre this past spring.  I couldn't decide my favorite there, let alone everything I have seen in fifty years of living.  I used to work at the Benfranklin's Frame Department in Billings.  I grew to love local artists.  My sister-in-law was an amazing artist.  My favorite of her pieces is hanging in the room with my photography and other pieces of those I love in my life.  In my office, I have a piece my neighbor did for me of a falcon.  I love art.  And really, I have to come up with a favorite piece?  The list is too long for goodness sakes.  However, I realize this is a good topic. 

One of my favorite pieces of art is "Faith" by Patrick Lundquist.  I saw the piece for the first time the summer we moved to Helena.  I told Jerry I wanted it.  Being a great guy, he suggested we buy the piece.  Nope, we didn't have the house for it.  Two years later, we moved.  I was on a mission to find Faith.  We had to drive to Great Falls where we found it at an art store.  Faith has been with us every since in our living room.  All my life, I have felt like I have taken multiple leaps of faith.  I left home to be the first generation college student.  After eight years, I finally graduated.  I leaped into the military.  Twenty years later, I retired.  A lot of people leap into marriage.  Our marriage is going strong at rounding in on thirty years.  We leaped into parenthood and have been working on it for twenty-six years.  My latest leap is writing fantasy novels.  This endeavor is yet to be determined.  In all of my leaps, I have kept God at the center.

Sure, there are other great works that are Christian based that could probably hold the same meaning for me in the area of faith, but this piece also keeps me surrounded by my love of the great outdoors.  And this is why "Faith" is one of my favorite pieces of art.

Day Four: Traveling

The morning went smoothly.  I had no problem getting to the airport in time.  Our little airport is a breeze to get through. No problems there.  They did make me nervous because they needed to de-ice the plane. This put us about twenty minutes behind.  Really, I love that they de-ice. I feel much safer. Unfortunately, I was concerned because I didn’t have much time in Salt Lake City.

The pilot ate up the lost time and we arrived on time.  Being a nervous Nellie, I rushed to my next gate. Instead of coming in at the E gates, we came in at the F gates.  This turned me around a bit. Stupidly in my hurry, I headed done to the first C gates. Airhead, I needed to be in D.  I still got to D7 in plenty of time and reprimanded myself for being nervous. I mean, seriously, this is the fourth time I have flown this year.  I shouldn’t be so blasted concerned.

We landed in Vegas at 9:15 their time which I thought was my time.  At this point, I hadn’t had a cup of coffee. I don’t like to eat in case my stomach goes nuts nor drink coffee to avoid having to go to the bathroom 24/7.  I stopped at the restroom before heading for baggage. Big mistake. When I came out, I followed the wrong group of people. I went to Terminal 3. I needed Terminal 1.  I am happy to say that I was not the only one. I believe they need to fix their signage.

Before I figured out my mistake, I stopped for coffee.  Thank goodness I did. When I chatted with the adorable little grandma worker, I was ready to hear I needed to take a shuttle clear around the entire airport to get to my luggage.  “Oh, Baby, you need to go out door 55. You are at the wrong terminal.” She made me smile, calling me baby. I had a spring in my step feeling young again.

At Terminal 1, I went up the elevator with one of the other misdirected passengers.  We joked about our tour of the airport. I couldn’t find my bag and had to go to the Delta office.  Geez. Next, I had to figure out how in the world to meet up with an Uber driver. I went back to chat with the guy who helped me find the Delta Office.  He sent me up to the second and a half floor in the parking garage.

What a circus!!!  I believe 50 plus people were all standing around waiting for rides.  Cars were everywhere. I punched in all my information into the Uber app.  My first time using this mind you. I watched as Louis was supposedly arriving in the parking lot.  The poor guy had to wait for me to finally call him because I had turned down my volume on my phone.  Airhead strikes again.

The trip to the hotel took a while.  I chatted with Louis a bunch. He is prior army from the Nam era, seventy years old from Louisiana.  He hasn’t lived there since he was a kid, so no accent. He grew up on a farm with six siblings. I enjoyed him so very much.

I didn’t get to have my room keys for quite a while.  Dragging my luggage around, I landed at a Mexican restaurant and ordered a ginger margarita.  Yum. My waitress was a dear. She kept calling me, Love. I have to say, the best part of traveling is meeting such nice people with great customer service.

Day Three: A Lazy Day

What is your favorite way to spend a lazy day?

At first glance, the question sounds easy.  Instant answer, laying on a beach on a warm 80 degree day, listening to the waves crashing and seagulls squawking.  Taking a nap on the beach after combing for seashells.  I love the thought of anything beach.  But, I am only able to get to the beach every couple of years.  Sometimes longer depending on life's demands, well, and my husband and daughter wanting to go other places.

The question should state, what is your favorite way to spend a lazy day at home?  I love to snuggle up in an afghan, the beagle laying on my lap, reading a book.  When I get a little tired of reading, I will take a nap or watch a movie or a television show.  From September to February, watching a football game also makes the list.  This is my go to activity when my body aches from the rheumatoid arthritis or my energy is depleted due to the same condition.

What do you like to do?

Day Two: Frankfurt

Finally, I come to the end of my vacation this past spring break six months ago.  My word have I ever been behind in everything in my life.  I am always amazed at how much the autoimmune disease can slow my life down.  But that is a topic for another day.

Our last day in Germany, our family and my dear cousin's family were all packed and out the door in the morning.  We drove to the train in Kaiserslautern.  What a crazy experience for my poor husband.  Dropping the rental car off was a nightmare.  Todd had to pick him up because it was taking forever.  The two of them almost missed the train.  They jumped on at the last second into a different car then the one we were on.  The train was packed.  We stood for an hour as we rumbled over the countryside.  The second half of the trip we switched trains and were in first class.  Oh, so much better.

After dropping the kids and luggage off at the hotel in the airport, so convenient, the four of us went into Frankfurt.  This was the first time we as couples were able to spend time together.  Usually when Holly and I get together either Todd or Jerry or both are serving our country on a military trip on one sort or other.  I loved the four of hanging out together.  In ways, this was the very best part of the trip.

We walked from the train station to the Frankfurt Cathedral.  I enjoyed the sights and sounds of the city.  I snapped pictures with my phone camera.  I was a little tired of dragging my Canon around. 

The Cathedral was snuggled in among a lot of buildings.  Once inside, I was amazed by a picture a gentleman pointed out.  During WWII every building around the Cathedral had been bombed.  The Cathedral wasn't touched.  Amazing.

Across from the picture, a large piece of art hung.  In the churches and cathedrals I have visited I don't recall ever seeing a depiction of the Assumption of Mary.  This piece took my breath away.  Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit are welcoming Mary into Heaven.  So very beautiful.

A lot of my photos didn't turn out, but some were amazing.  I loved seeing the picture of the Divine Mercy.  We were studying that in my Bible study group.  The old Bibles were also amazing.

Once we finished at the Cathedral, we had an amazing dinner.  I had this black pepper sauce with spaetzle and pork.  Yum!!!

We were reminded of our grandpa, Alton.  

 

The next morning, we flew home.  Germany, I do want to visit again.