About eleven years ago, I went to Hawaii on a
girls trip. My daughter was so upset
that she couldn’t go. She resented the
fact that she wasn’t included with the girls.
I promised her that we would go for her junior year. Well, she has hit junior year, so I had to
keep my promise. We also used the trip
as a carrot. With all of her struggles
in school the last few years, this trip was only going to happen if she went to
school all year. She accomplished her
mission. We went to Maui.
Going into the trip, I was worried. Madelle’s social anxiety causes panic
attacks. The two of us struggle when her
attitude turns bad due to the panic. Armed
with four years of practicing our communication skills and anxiety skills, we
headed out. Of course, we did great in
the Helena airport and Salt Lake City. I
am very comfortable in Salt Lake. LAX
though is a beast. We arrived to people
everywhere. I was concerned about our
next flight and if we were in the right area.
It wasn’t posted on the board yet. Madelle was panicking and hungry. We hit potential crisis mode.
Wandering around, we found an off shoot hallway. I ignored her snarky comments which is her
way of relieving her stress. Sure, it
adds to mine if I listen, hence the ignoring. We sat for a bit to collect ourselves. I left my backpack and wandered off to find
her something to eat. After I fed her, I
went to find something for me to eat. Yep,
I should have just gotten me something as well, but walking around was better
for me then sitting on a floor. For our
first day, this was the only issue we had.
We were in the correct terminal, and it went smashingly well. We finished the day with a nice dinner on the
beach.
Being worn out from the travel, our first day we
just hung out. We did attempt to find a
fruit stand. When I started talking
through the drive and how to find it, she began panicking. I stopped at Safeway. She was being extra snarky. I “yelled”. A year ago this would have resulted in a full
meltdown, but she breathed and we collected snacks for the room. Crisis averted. We walked on the beach in swim clothes later
in the afternoon. I had to go in the
water. Madelle was reluctant, but she
followed. I had a great time. She did too until a wave hit her and filled
her ear with water. She became
disorientated. Yep, out of the water we
went. She struggled with the ear the
rest of the vacation. I wonder if it
ended up just being her excuse. In the
evening, we traveled north to find sushi. The restaurant had too many people in it for
her, so we took it to go.
Our next day, I wandered on my own in the
morning. She wasn’t doing well. I felt so bad. I had wanted her to be having fun. She wasn’t. So, we took a walk down to the Whaler’s
Village, a nice little shopping center. For
the first fifteen minutes, she did really well, but the people overwhelmed her.
We grabbed some gelato and headed back
to the resort. All the people in bathing
suits or the guys not wearing shirts also bothered her. She is modest and hates to be around people
revealing themselves. I don’t get it,
but it makes her panic. I guess the
beach wasn’t the best idea. Later that
night, we went to the luau. When I saw
the long line of people, I was surprised Madelle didn’t bulk right away. But, she made it through the line. We got to our table. She looked miserable. We ate our dinner and then she had a meltdown.
I quickly got her out of the area and
headed back to the room. By the time we
hit the elevator, tears rolled down her cheeks.
In the room, she started crying. We
missed the show. She was disappointed
and feeling guilty for ruining the show for me. Like I told her, I have seen one. All was good. She wanted to go home. Uff da!!!
The next day she was not in a good mental state. I didn’t want to leave her alone, but I also
didn’t want to sit in the room all day. With
a phone call home to Dad, she decided to try the botanical garden. I picked the one that I thought would have the
least amount of people. I picked well. We had the place to ourselves until the last
ten minutes. She enjoyed the ducks. We went back to the resort. She didn’t leave the room the rest of the day. I was sad. But what do you do? I took advantage of the situation and worked
on my current novel in the breezeway and on the balcony. Sure, I preferred to be out and about, but I
enjoyed the writing as well.
Finally, the day to go home. She was antsy and wanted out of the room. Yay. We
checked out early and went to the aquarium.
She of course struggled because of all the tourists. I would have liked to spend more time looking,
but she needed away from all the people.
This put us ahead of schedule to be at the airport. I took the time to drive more of the island. We drove the first part of the Hana Highway. I had thought we would travel along the north
shore. Nope, we were in the middle of jungle.
I loved it. She was in no mood to explore. Darn. Next
time for me.
A lot of people would look at this vacation as a
waste of time and money. A part of me
feels that way too. I didn’t get hardly
any sun. That is horrible. But really, I think the vacation was a
success. I traveled and spent time with
my girl. You can’t put a price tag on
that. I also learned something I have
been to dense to learn to this point. My
daughter can’t travel the way I like to travel. She can’t do the tourist thing. I need to learn how to travel without doing
the attractions that everyone visits. I
am not sure how or what this will entail. Granted, hopefully, Madelle will continue to
get better and learn how to deal with a lot of people. But if not, if I want to travel with her, I
need to change the travel mode. I have
more learning to do.
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