The beginning of the school year has been keeping me
extremely busy. As my posts have
expressed, I have been struggling with my own depression due to the problems of
Madelle's mental illness. We have had
additional family problems that have also left me reeling. I look back at the last months and look out
the window to my vegetable garden turned weed patch, wondering where my summer
went. Drama!!! I hate drama.
As much as I try to cut it from my life, the tendrils of negativity seep
under the door. Thus, I have been trying
to get outside to get rid of the messes of four to five foot weeds and other
tasks. I still have all the appointments
for Madelle, want to write, a huge church function to prepare for, fantasy
football, and a family gathering. Life
is not slowing down. But some healing
has taken place.
This past weekend, I attended the family
gathering. My father-in-law's health is
declining so his amazing sisters threw a huge birthday party for him to
celebrate his life and legacy. My
in-laws are the best. The party itself
with friends and family was set for three hours; however, the family spent the
entire three day weekend together. We
broke bread, played games, shopped at the farmer's market, joked around, attended
a sheep run, and simply hung out. Beautiful
memories were created.
Yes, I did struggle a bit. One, I am an introvert. Two, I have no capability to chit chat when
my heart is weighted down. But that is
what is so wonderful about all of the family.
They understand that I am quiet.
They understand that life throws curve balls that chatter the glass of
our emotions. They continue to love and
support. Not one judgment was made about
how we are handling Madelle. I could
rest in the laughter. I healed through
the smiles and hugs.
I realize the depression still lurks in the
background. We still have a lot of
battles to fight. I am not able to get
to my writing as much as I would like.
But, my hope is restored. I see
my blue sky of Montana in all its glory.
So, I am off on my writing and blog schedules. The church function and gardening will
continue to cause complications with my word counts. But soon the snow will fly and no more work
will be done outside. In a couple of
years, Madelle will be conquering the world and I will have tons of time to
write. Life is still beautiful.
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